the only reason // l.r.h. [under construction]

four

Luke

 I don't deserve her. She doesn't deserve to have me treating her like this. I know what I did was wrong. Telling the world without asking her first was a bad move on my part. She has a right to be upset with me, which is why I was surprised to hear her sneak into the room around two-thirty this morning.

 The only thing that gave away her entrance was the door creaking, which she quietly shushed, as if the door would listen to her. I kept my eyes closed as she crept around to her side of the bed and pulled back the covers. She stayed far enough away that I knew she was probably still upset, but not so far that I couldn't feel the heat radiating off of her small body. I wanted to reach out and pull her close to wordlessly tell her that I'm sorry and it's going to be okay but I couldn't bring myself to possibly ruin this moment. After a little while, I'm not sure how long, she rolled over and scooted closer to me, putting her head against my chest. She let out a long sigh before saying, "I love you Luke. Goodnight."

-

 I woke up panicked and sweating. Kaylie was sitting next to me, holding onto my arm shaking me, looking worried. "Oh my god you woke up. Okay. Are you okay? You started yelling and tossing and turning and..." She trailed off.

 I took a moment to recollect myself before responding."Yeah, yeah I'm okay. I'm sorry I scared you. C'mere." I held my arms out and she leaned into them, less panic-stricken than moments before.

 "Was it that dream again?" Kaylie asked after a few minutes of silence. In this dream, everyone I have ever loved is being killed, one by one, right in front of my eyes and I can't do anything to stop it. It just keeps going. But this time it was my turn to be murdered. In front of everyone I have ever loved. I was being dragged to slaughter when I was broken from the dream by Kaylie yelling at me to wake up.

 "Mhm. I mean, no. Kind of," I struggled to explain.

 She looked up at me quizzically.

 "Was it worse than the other one?" She asked.

 "In a way. It wasn't you or my mum or brothers or the guys or everyone else being killed in front of me. I was going to be killed in front of you and my mum and the guys and everyone else. Nobody deserves to see their loved one die."

 It was quiet while we both tried to sort this all out. Make sense of it. Kaylie was the first to break the silence."I'm sorry you have to go through this. Your dreams, I mean. It's just terrible. You sounded so hurt and I couldn't help you because you wouldn't wake up... I guess I just freaked myself out. I'm sorry."

 "Hey now, don't be sorry. It's not your fault. You did all that you could to help and it worked. I woke up, no more dream. It's okay. Are we okay right now?" I asked, referring to yesterday's incident.

 "I'm not particularly happy with you for telling everyone without telling me you were going to. That was a real jerk thing to do, you know? But yeah. We're okay. Right?"

 "Yeah. We're okay. I love you."

 "I love you too."

-

Kaylie had fallen back asleep when I left so I left her a note telling her where I was.

"Keeks-

I'm with the boys getting a little practice done before tour starts again. Be back abt 4. If I'm not back by then, feel free to drop by M's place. Love you x"

It was now 4:17 and we hadn't actually gotten much practice in since I got here around noon; we've just been talking around screwing around. Michael was currently at his karaoke machine he had set up, singing along to some Britney Spears song. Ashton was trying to show his "friend" how to play the drums. I didn't bother learning her name though. Calum and I were playing FIFA against each other (which he was losing at). 

We had each had a couple of beers prior to the game, him more than me, which made it slightly amusing to see Calum's reaction when he couldn't make it in the goal or prevent me from doing so. 

"Ashton, Michael, shut up will you? I'm trying to focus," Calum exclaimed, annoyed with the drumming going on a few feet away. Ashton just laughed it off whereas Michael felt the need to explain that it was 'his house and he could do what he wants to.'

"Yeah yeah okay, whatever. Just take it down a notch. Or three. DAMN IT LUKE," he swore. He had almost made it into the net when I blocked him from doing so. Game over.

"YES! I WON! HAHAHA," I yelled, throwing down the controller. Calum just glared at me. "THE UNDEFEATABLE CALUM THOMAS HOOD HAS BEEN DEFEATED!"

I was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. Michael rushed over to the door, throwing it open. He was in the way so I couldn't quite see who it was.

"Kaylie! You made it! Wooo!" He said a little too enthusiastically and slung his arm around her shoulder, bringing her in and closing the door behind them. She looked at me with a look in her eyes that I couldn't quite place and sat down on the couch next to me.

I half expected her to scold me for drinking, but she didn't. 

"Hey Michael, got any more of those around?"

(a/n: just a short little update to keep you going, if any of you are still reading this :-) i'm at my aunt's for a family reunion that i don't want to be at so i'll probably update again later if i have a chance. love you all x)