Keep It To Myself -I- BKDK (discontinued, sad, cringe.)

Chapter 9 - Desirous

(Sorry for the long ass wait... again. I've been trying to think of things to add on. I'll try to post 2 chapters today, and make the second a little longer than usual.)

"Hello?" I called out but to no answer. With the bit of vision I had, I saw a piece of paper on the floor. What? Where the hell did this paper come from? I took it inside my dorm and grabbed my phone to turn on the flashlight again. Then, I read the paper.

I couldn't really see what was on there, and the terrible handwriting wasn't helping. The only thing I could make out was "To Kacchan," That told me enough about who it was from. I turned off the flashlight on my phone. Things were awkward enough already; I didn't want to not read the letter. But I was too tired to read it. I just dropped it and passed out in my bed.

Deku POV:

My face was red as hell as I knocked on the door and ran off. I hope he didn't get the wrong idea. It wasn't a love letter or something weird like that! I hope he doesn't take it as rude. He understands, right? 

- 10 Minutes Earlier -

Should I go? The question lingered in my head. What would we even do? I hope he wasn't planning to do it, but what if he was? And my not showing up shows I'm not into him like that? But what if he just wanted to talk, and then my not showing up shows I don't care about him? But if I do show up, that'd be awkward as hell. Not to mention weird. Sure, we have a lot to discuss, But what if I show up and he goes for me as he did earlier? Obviously, I'd push him off me, and then our relationship would be ruined. Oh, what the hell? It's already in shambles.

I sighed. Can I ask Shoto? That question also lingered. I stared at my ceiling, letting my bed be the only comfortable thing in this room. He's only down the hall... I walked out of my bedroom and started down the hall. 

I hesitated to knock on Shoto's door. What would I even say? "Hey, Boyfriend of 3 months! I have a crush on Kacchan! Did I mention he sexually assaulted me earlier today, and I'm pretty sure he likes me back? Does that count as cheating? Also, should I go to his dorm so he could probably fuck me? Sending love!!!"

My skin turned white while making that joke to myself. What if I really was cheating? I held out a hand to knock on his door, but I shot it back to my side. I remembered Shoto's smile and how happy I made him. But did he make me happy? I held back a tear.

I eventually decided not to knock and walked back toward my room. I then collided with a figure. At first, I got scared because I thought it was the wall, but it was much worse.

"AH-!" I screamed a bit. My eyes eventually adjusted to the dark. K-Kacchan?! What the hell is he doing out here?!

- Present Time -

Whatever. Hopefully, the letter clears everything up. But now I have another person I need to discuss something with. Shoto. How did he know I was in the hallway? I never knocked. If anything, he should've been asleep. Shoto grows more confusing every day. During the summer, nothing like this ever happened. Whenever I'm around, he's not like that. 

-----

Wait, when did I fall asleep? What time is it? I checked my alarm clock; it was already 7 minutes before I was supposed to leave. I got ready faster than ever before and ran towards the school gates.

During class, I got a bunch of annoyed glances from Kacchan. Did he read the note? Or did he not? What did he take it wrong? I forgot a pencil during my rush to school, so I asked Shoto for one.

"Shoto? Do you have a pencil?" He looked up from his notebook and smiled. He picked up a spare he had and then gave it to me. "Thanks." This only made Kacchan's stare more intense. I couldn't help but stare back. I usually hate when people stare at me, but this stare feels like my fault. I averted my eyes, and I think he got the hint because he continued to follow the lesson.

Sometime during lunch, I had to use the bathroom. Or at least, that's what I told Shoto. I like to look at myself when I'm in a difficult position. The mirrors help me reflect on myself and rethink what I'm going through. It's helped all my life, but today it wasn't. Looking back on myself, I only saw a shell of who I was. The outer frame of who I was supposed to be.

My hands gripped the counter's edge, and I leaned into the mirror more. It didn't help me see myself any clearer. I was about to start crying again until the mirror broke. I was breaking.

"Deku? The fuck did you do?" I flinched and backed away from the sink.

"I-I didn't do anything!" What the heck was Kacchan doing in here?! Well, duh! Going to the bathroom! I'm so dumb; I should've checked the stalls!

"Well, I don't care; move, nerd." He pushed me out of the way and went to wash his hands. Why was Kacchan being mean again? Did he not read the letter? Then... who picked it up?  

Just then, the power went out. Why does everything have to be in the dark?! "Some shit. Whatever, I'm off, nerd." Kacchan left as quickly as he came. "Todoshitty? Why are you out here?" I heard Kacchan say just as the door closed.

Shit! I thought, as I ran out of the bathroom. As soon as I left the bathroom, I saw something I though I'd never. 

His eyes were dead.