my beta boy | ✎

Sisyphus

The morning was somehow duller without the companionship of B79, though the world had not changed in the slightest. R16 woke with a feeling of serendipity, marveling at her own daring which led to a connection of sorts. Though, she still felt he was too pretty to be trusted.

As always, they started the day by rehearsing past dances to get them in the swing of things. A gaggle of younger girls giggled in front of the floor length mirror that ran across three walls. High windows were fitted into the structure of the building, letting in the morning sun which stung R16's eyes. She hadn't managed to get any sleep in and the high pitched exclamations hurt her ears. Standing in front of the mirror, R16 gazed at herself bleakly, unable to ignore how engrossed R18 was. Her movements danced across the mirror and a pang of envy shot through R16 as a small wry smile crept onto her face. There was no one, in her opinion, whose movements were as mesmerizing. The way R18's ebony hair whipped through the air and the distinctive, powerful way she moved...

"Sixteen's performance was outstanding," R100 chirped, her hair combed into a severe high bun that glistened in sunlight, shining like fresh snow atop her manicured head, "We can all stand to glean something from her. Yes, even me."

Even interrupted by R100's sudden remark, R18 continued to twirl and leap, stopping in front of R16 and bowing as if it were a part of her performance. Taking the cue from her best friend, R16 stretched and took her place in the center of the room, waiting for the music to play. She felt different somehow and it showed. The moment the first note started to play, she could feel the music as an energy humming through her, bringing life into her very fingers, prompting her to dance with a kind of reckless abandon instead of the constraint that she had always practiced with. She envisioned the peace that she had just witnessed R18 dancing with and channeled her friend, losing herself in the emotion of the song that played. Whipping her body to its very limits with every note that rang out. All too soon, the music came to a crescendo and R16 anticipated the final leap she would have to make before resigning herself to a still statue, with one leg extended far away from her body and her arms lifted as though a bird in flight, and her toes on pointe.

"That was... moving," R100 clapped as R16 realized that the rest of the girls who did the performance with her had not moved from their positions. A burning sensation rushed into her cheeks and she dropped her eyes to the floor, not seeing R100 turn to the rest of her students. "Dance is an expression," she continued, "I want you to feel every note and put your heart into it."

"Now," she stood up, clapping her hands twice to signal the class to get to their feet, "like you mean it."

The girls dispersed to various corners of the classroom and began practicing their dance as R100 went around giving suggestions and corrections.

"Have you given it any thought, my dear? Regarding the gentlemen's proposal...?" Her gentle and quiet tones jerked R16 out of her reverie. She hadn't expected to be put on the spot to dance solo and there was an uncomfortable thorn in her chest as a small voice wondered whether the girls might think that she was better than the rest of them. She tried to quash the errant thought, but she could feel their eyes on her now, smirking at her. When she looked up to catch their eyes, she only noticed them engrossed in their own practice which only made her feel smaller. Here she was, overthinking things as always... Quickly she straightened to look at her teacher, realizing belatedly that she hadn't given the proposals any thought. Her little excursion last night had made no room for any other considerations, but R100's question brought a new jolt, this time to the pit of her stomach. Was she ready to venture into a world of new experiences?

"I'm sorry, ma'am... I-I am still conflicted," R16 said finally, whipped back to reality.

"That's okay," R100 said reassuringly, "no pressure. I only thought that as you were of appropriate age, you might find the thought... enticing." R16 had never heard her speak quite so candidly, in fact, subtlety seemed to have disappeared from her usual demeanor. The young dancer bit her lower lip and cast her eyes on the floor, unwilling to meet her teacher's eyes because she didn't want to see even the shadow of disappointment.