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They arrived at the hospital, Anna quickly ran into the Hospital and stopped at the front desk, before she said anything she took a deep breathe to collect herself , she then asked for her moms room and where she could find her. The couple came in and were told that her room was on the second floor door number 17. It took them 6 minutes to finally find the room. They were eager but, truly scared to open the door.
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Anna was very anxious and scared, she knew that there was something wrong and she hoped that what she thought hadn't happened, she became even more worried and started to panic silently trying her best not to think of the worst, She then breathed in and out calming herself and opened the door. As she opened the slowly Anna felt something, that feeling where you know that it's over, that feeling that brings you to a reality, that makes your realize that this is real and not a movie where you can bring back or save a life.
She did not want to give into what she was feeling and walked in, shocked to see a blanket over her mom, she could not understand what she had just seen, she immediately started to panic causing her to freeze on her spot. The couple tried to help her out of her panicked state but there was no resolve, Anna was to shocked to believe her eyes, she couldn't bare to even dare step even closer.
The neighbors hearts were sinking at the sight, they knew what Anna and her mother had been through, the depression, the trauma, how they suffered and struggled due to what that man did to them. They felt grief, sadness and hopelessness wash over them. This caused Anna to break out of her frozen state, she then looked straight at her mom, she couldn't see her face due to the blanket covering her. She hated the fact that they covered her, it made her mad.
Anna walked slowly step by step, she slowly pulled of the blanket, placing it on the side, she then turned to her mom shocked to see how pale her mom looked, the scars on her neck, It was evident that her mom ended her own life. Anna felt anger but that quickly went away when she realized he mother was dead, her thoughts were all over the place. Suddenly the room fell still, it felt cold, empty and strange. The realization hit even harder this time.
Anna's view
Her thoughts
I looked at my mom and I couldn't recognize the woman I was seeing, was this really her, she looked so pale, the dark around her eyes the scars on her neck , was she dead . She's dead. Forever.
Anna suddenly fell to her knees falling into a river of tears There was thunder and lightening roaring, the more it rained the louder Anna got, crying her eyes out she was unable to look at her mom, she cried and cried, unable to pull herself together, Mrs. Louis, the neighbors wife approached Anna in an attempt to help her but this made Anna flinch from the presence of another. Anna was in a state where she wasn't able to open her mouth to speak, all she could do was cry that's all she could do.
"Mom why, why did you leave me here alone on my own, you promised we'd be together and that you'd always stay with me, Remember you said we'd go to that concert you always wanted to go to or that cake you always wanted to try, you promised you'd teach me how to make scarfs, you should have stayed so we could have done all those things, so that we could be happy, mom please wake up, are you joking with me, mom please stop joking please come back."
Anna stood up from where she was laying and started speaking, touching her moms face and neck, horrified by how bad her mom hurt herself All because of her dad she hated him, so much.
"Mom come back you can't let him win, please, please come back, you're going to leave me like this, mom I miss you, I miss you so much" she cried, her body trembling and unable to handle the pain.
She eventually embraced Mrs. louis seeking comfort and warmth from another, this made her cry again, she felt that she could have done something, she wondered why her mom did this, why she didn't consider her, why she didn't take her with her. She wished she would have made her mom more happier maybe that would have made her mom react differently.
She wished that her mom would wake up so that she wouldn't have to face this nightmare, she was already alone and had no one, the only one she had was her mom, her dad left her for another and now she has no where to go. Who will take care of her, how will she bear to handle the guilt and loss of her beloved mother all alone with no one to console her.
Her heart felt heavy, it felt like it was deep in the sea and possibly deeper, that feeling that stabs you in the heart and right though your back, that feeling that won't go away no matter how much you try. She felt so much pain, such that she could not bear, to see her mom in this state broke her more than her father ever did .The sight was painful, one of the worst things that could possibly happen has happened. To think that this all happened because of one man that could not appreciate his wife, a beautiful soul left this earth and all she had was the sadness in her heart that pained her everyday.
Was that fair........
Mrs. Louis left the room to speak with the doctor in arrangements for the body of Anna's mother. He finalized the papers and all arrangements and waited for Mrs. Louis and Anna so they could take her home.
Anna eventually fell asleep, Mrs. Louis decided that she would take Anna home, she felt that it wouldn't be good to keep her here. They arranged everything and then left, Louis decided to keep Anna at her home instead of leaving her all alone.
That night was the worst night of Anna's life, she had nightmares, she could not sleep at all, all she could think about was her mom, she did not cry because she could not, she did not know how to live with this, she kept on with her thoughts. She thought to herself that she'd try to be the best for her mom in everything possible, she felt that her moms life was taken wrongly, wished it wouldn't have happened but she vowed to be strong for her mother wherever she was. Hoping she'd be in a peaceful place, in peace.
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