The World of Tomorrow (Rêve de Gosse #1)

Prologue

#TWOTprologue

In this lifetime, facing different challenges was already part of our story. Crying and whining were part of it. Celebrating and getting excited about small things are already normal. But even though those emotions seem average, we can't deny the fact that it also helps us grow like a newborn plant. It can also help us be rational in our actions and decisions. It also helps us reflect on the things we wish we didn't make.

Our past memories aren't just part of our memory but also part of our lives. May it be positive or negative, lahat nang nakaraan ay parte na rin ng buhay natin. Nakakatakot man itong isipin at balikan ngunit maipagmamalaki naman sa karamihan.

Those hurtful memories pushed us to be on our own. It pushes us to believe in ourselves and stand on our own feet. It made us better than we were before. It made us stronger, fiercer, and more powerful than we used to be. And it also drives us to be more courageous in reaching our dreams . . . our childhood dream.

"Good evening, Miss Fleur," nakangiting bati sa akin interviewer. Maliit ko siyang tinanguan bago nakangiting tumingin ulit sa harapan ng camera na ngayon ay nakatutok sa akin. "Are you ready for tonight's interview, Miss Fleur?" asked the interviewer.

"Always ready," I answered confidently.

Because of my answer, loud claps and shouts from different people filled the conference room. My smile became wider as I watched them proudly and admiringly looking at me.

Pinahupa muna ni miss Lila — the interviewer from CL Magazine — ang palakpakan at hiyawan ng mga taong magiging saksi sa interview kong ito. After minutes of waiting for them to calm down, Miss Lila turned her attention back to me before saying;

"Wow . . . What a warm cheers we have here!" Miss Lila jokingly exclaimed. Bigla tuloy nagtawanan ang mga audience para sa gabing ito. "Anyways, let's get to the real business, shall we?" Ang kanyang mga ngiti ay mas lalong lumawak.

"I'm just waiting for you to start asking me questions," pabiro kong singit na ikinatawa ng lahat.

"Oh . . . I'm sorry for that, Miss Fleur." Lila slightly bowed her head, telling me that she really is sorry for being too talkative.

I just shook my head, still wearing my confident smile as I readied myself for the possible questions that will be thrown at me tonight.

Ilang segundong katahimikan ang namayani sa loob ng conference room bago tahimik na tumikhim si Lila, senyales na magsisimula na siyang tanungin ako.

"Many people have been wandering around with the same question: why did you use your voice to focus on mental health issues rather than focusing on big issues circulating our country? If it's okay with you, Miss Fleur, can you share the reason behind your platform with the viewers?"

"Thank you for your warm question," I started. "I've been receiving such questions for quite some time now and I guess this will be the right time to fill their curiosity," mahina akong tumawa bago nagpakawala ng isang malalim na buntong-hininga. "I've been seeing a lot of people taking mental health issues lightly. Some people tend to compare their past lives to today's generation. They will call you dramatic just because you complained. They will call you weak just because you cried." I took another deep breath to collect my remaining courage.

Having this kind of conversation makes me unconsciously go back to the life I never wished for. As much as I am thankful for my past experiences, there's still a side of me that wanted to forget about it all. I may sound pathetic in the ears of everyone, but that's how I feel. It's just . . . too painful.

"In other words, I wanted to use my wide influence to spread awareness. I wanted to be the voice of the young ones who suffered a lot in secret. I wanted to be there straight in the world that made them doubt themselves," for the nth time, I took out a deep breath before continuing. "Trust me when I say it was hard. It was hard fighting the monster of thoughts alone and scared. You just found yourself shaking in the corner while trying to think of anything just to cover up the negative things coming through your mind. Suddenly, you see your own self stupefied and you suddenly think of ending your own life." Maliit akong ngumiti sa mga nanunuod bago muling ibinaling ang atensyon sa mikropono.

I never thought I could survive from the ugliness of yesterday. I never thought I'm still breathing until now. My past experiences may not be as painful as others, but it was painful enough on my end. Dahil sa naranasan ko noon ay nagawa kong mag-isip ng bagay na alam kong hindi dapat.

"Please refrain from thinking that mental health issues are jokes. Because it's not and will never be a joke."

After answering the first question thrown at me, the show goes on smoothly. Lila professionally asked me different kinds of questions which made me comfortably answer all of them. Hindi rin mawala-wala ang tawanan at kulitan sa loob ng conference room. Everything goes lightly as the show continues.

"Miss Fleur, this will probably be the last question that your fans wanted to ask," Lila said, smiling while roaming around her head to see the audiences' reactions bago muling ibinalik ang atensyon sa akin.

I nodded my head at her, indicating for her to ask me the last question she was talking about. Tinanguan niya rin ako pabalik at nakangiting itinapat ang mikropono sa kanyang bibig.

"Can you tell us about your past before reaching this far?" Lila asked gently.

Upon processing what she'd asked, I froze like a statue in my seat. Hearing her question feels like a bomb that slowly lets me remember the past that made me where I am now. The ugly yesterday I had experienced na pilit kong tinatakbuhan palayo. The sour yesterday that made me realise that even the person you trusted the most can also leave you hanging on a thin rope.

Despite being shocked, I still managed to put a sweet smile on my lips. I roamed my eyes around, searching for someone I knew from my past. And when my eyes finally met his, my sweet smile became sweeter.

"Honestly, my journey way back before I became who I am right now . . ." I trailed off, paying back his dreadful stares as an elegant smirk slowly drew on my lips.

A smile of satisfaction suddenly slipped on my lips as I watched how his emotions quickly changed from serious down to something I couldn't figure out after hearing my last words. Even though I can't clearly read the emotion in his eyes, I knew exactly that I got him off his guard.

"Isn't special at all," I continued. 

And truth be told, there's really nothing special about my past. After all, all of those memories are just part of the ugliness of our yesterday.