Intoxicate [❌]

9 - Fall

[Tonix]

A memory. Dark, vague, and filled with static, but there nonetheless. A ravaged corpse, bleeding out underneath me.

I tell myself it's just memories of Jacob. Last I saw him, he was barely recognizable. It's entirely possible that Anatox's mention of her friend's death triggered the memory. But still. I can't help but feel this was more... recent.

I shook away the thought, and continued on. Where was I? Right. I was directly outside the front door to Anatox's apartment. I don't know why I was there... or when I got there. I must have gone out here without realizing. Yeah.

I'd never actually seen any parts of the apartment besides Anatox's room. It was obvious out here that the place was run down, probably not in business anymore. I assume that Anatox has to stay under the radar, now that I see it. I thought back to when I asked her what she worked as, and she told me I'd call the police if she did. Maybe this is part of it. The wallpaper that probably used to be a bright, cheerful yellow has faded over time to a dull yellow-grey, peeling in some places from age. The carpet below my feet was older as well, dirty and unkempt. Lights overhead were either burnt out entirely or flickering, one flickering strongly enough for my head to start swimming and for me to be forced to look away. Doors lined either side of the hallway, and for a second I questioned how Anatox was able to find her room. They all looked the same, and the numbers on the doors had long since worn away. Then I noticed the carved X into the wood of the door, only noticeable if you really looked for it. That must be how she finds it.

Not really having anything else to do, I pushed myself onward, the dim light from my pupils lighting the way enough for me to see my hands in front of me. There was some other light, both from the occasional light in working order and the window at the far end of the corridor. The window had modicum glass, the only of which being the rigid, sharp edges around the sill, like it had been broken. The slight breeze from the window floated down the hallway, slightly ruffling my hair as I walked.

I found myself standing at the window, looking out into the city. Knives of glass stabbed into my hands as I lay them on the sill, but I didn't really mind. The floor I was on was about two stories up, not too far from the main highway that ran through the city but not on a commonly used road. The road was torn up, potholes randomly scattered on the neglected pavement. No one walked the streets or the sidewalks of this part of town. This is the "shady joint" parents tell their kids to stay away from. Because of the people, the monsters in the dark, that prowled the shadows.

I inhaled a deep breath, then exhaled. The moderately warm air filled my lungs and left just as quickly. My gaze fell to the ground far below. If I fell, there was a minimal chance of survival. My eyes were glued to the pavement below, and I bit my lip until my abnormally sharp teeth split the skin like a knife to an orange peel. Metallic blood burned in my mouth. I finally opened my mouth, allowing the crimson liquid to leak out to the ground. I heard a sizzling sound as it made contact with carpet, a small bit of steam rising as the acidic blood eroded its way downwards.

Why don't I do it? I had every means right there to climb out that window and let myself fall. The very thing I've been attempting in vain to convince myself to do. Yet here I am. Still here. My feet were frozen to the ground, puppet strings of a marionette holding me back.

Huffing, I removed my hands from the sill. The glass had punctured skin, but not deep enough for pain to take hold. It was a dull sting. I wiped it off on my sleeves.

Under the hem of my coat I could see the bandages from when I had attempted to claw my skin off in a hallucination. Only, what, two days ago? Three? It felt like forever. But everyday feels like forever to me.

Slowly, I rolled up my sleeve and fumbled around for the end of the bloodstained, off-white cloth. When my fingers grasped it, I pulled, unwrapping the bandage until it was a pile on the ground. Things like what I did should leave scars, scabs, something. Especially this short of time after the injury occurred. But all that remained was... nothing. Nothing but marks that were only visible because they were a tint or two lighter than my skin. Barely there at all. As if it was only a scrape. The same on the other one.

I let my sleeves fall back over the now nonexistent wounds. This was nothing new. But every time, it still surprises me. It shouldn't be scientifically possible for things like this to happen - I should know. Then again, radiation can do strange things to one's genetics.

A pang of agony, and suddenly I was on my knees. My claws unsheathed, digging into the carpet. The burning sensation rose. I thought I was about to vomit again, and prepared for the worst, but suddenly... it stopped. I could move again. Confused, I stood, rubbing my throat to make sure it was gone.

Odd.

Have I felt this before? I dug deep in my memory, trying to avoid unwanted images coming to mind as I searched for an answer.

Yes... I have. Five years ago, in that... place. I can no longer find the words to describe it - my mind isn't in its best shape right now, degrading and scrambled. It was the place where I met an old friend, another innocent I had forced myself to hurt somehow. To kill.

I shook that image away and thought back to what I felt.

It started... It started a week before...

Before...

My eyes widened, and I couldn't help but allow a gasp to escape my throat.

Oh crap.

Could it be happening again? There has to be some other explanation. I should have known it would come back.

I took a deep, shuddering breath. Okay. I have a week at the very least. Maybe. I need to get far away from here. Away from people. Away from people that would be hurt, most likely killed, by what ensued that one week.

I began to proceed to the stairs that led down to the first floor when suddenly my legs froze. No matter how hard I attempted, my limbs refused to follow my will.

I need to get out of here. I can't stay here! MOVE IT!

But still I did not oblige.

You can't go now.

There I was again. The voice that was mine, definitely mine, but also wasn't.

You cannot escape what fate brings upon you.

Leave me alone.

You are more than hiding and infidelity.

I need to leave.

Rise, and the rest of the world will fall.

I don't want that.

You do.

And you will.

I didn't realize I was crying. A shiver wracked my body.

Your destiny awaits.

No, I won't let people die.

I won't let them...

Not by my hands...

Not by...

Not...

...

...

The world...

Will fall.

I opened my eyes, wiping the tears from my face. My jaw was clenched so hard my head pounded. I relaxed a bit, and the shadows were chased from my vision.

Taking one last look at the broken window, I turned and walked back to Anatox's room.

-x-

well that doesn't sound fun

1322 words