The Reckless Ride to Buttlandia

No name, same. Im gonna live forever.

Onceler POV

I run as fast as hairy hot dog sprinting in the spring time. I run away from wenis and his crispy, oily, wenis-pinching-craving fingers. Oh how I'll never be the same. I sob and sob tears of egg yolks, i licked it up.... Mmmm i love breakfast. I approach the nightly outdoors and rip of my long lanky shoes. I dig my naked hairy perfect toes into the sand with each stride i take. And then i open my yolk-sealed eyes... i see... a star.

"I wish upon a star" i serenade myself. More eggy tears fall.

"I-i'm trying... to believe'' I choke up

"And even though i'm hard...." i slap my gems...

"You'll find me Christmas Eve...''

Christmas eve..... The whole world spins before my eyes and I have the biggest flashbacks of all flashbacks.

Flashback to 1895 (but a year before that when Onceler was a young lad)

"CHett, Brett! STOP picking on Oncey! Pick on your mama!" I hear my mama holler from the kitchen. I hide deeper and deeper in my closet of my hidden thneeds. Hidden even deeper was a picture of the most prettiest of young ladies.... Norma.. I jucily smooch the picture of her face (well it was VERY faded because i SMOOCHED it like 252 times a day.)
As i heard my skwagly brother duo stomping and twirling up our creaky floor made out of band-aids. I come out of that closet. They approach me.

"Oink oink." Brett snorts in my face. I attempted to shove my toes in his eyes but they ran for my closet. Oh no. i thought in  more than just freaky fear. I run at them and throw them out my window and and I run. I run and I run out in our old stankey town.

"I MUST FIND HER!" i BLOLOLOLOLL like a turkey looking for a mate.

"BLALALLALLOLOLOL!" i hear in the near distance.

I run to Norma with open arms and I embrace her 100º hug.. She smelled so delightful, just like hard boiled egg yolk mashed into my anus!

"Oncey we need to-" norma started but i sharted.

"Norma we shoud get married!"

"We need to break up." Norma said right as I said we should get married.

"Ummm miss girl did I hear you're stanky ass lips right? Break-break up??? What do do do do do do do do do do do do do doo you mean my lovely mashed potato in the night???"

"It means I don't love you anymore, Onceler. You have let me down. You promised me a thneed, you have not delivered. You promised me sexy pictures of you covered in lettuce, i'm still waiting. Oncey it's been 13 years we've been together and you still wont pinch my wenis... is there something wrong with it?" Norma infomed me very mean.

"No norma of course not, I'm just a classy, assy and gassy guy and I like to wait at least 20 years for wenis pinching action! I just want to wait fir the seductive wiggly moment with you!" i scream at her in my oncey ways. I also think to all of those failed thneed attempts laying in  my closet....all 01 of them. I sniffle. *sniffle*

"Man, you sure do suck!" she slaps me in the flap under my thumbs and waddles away.

Little did I know that was the last time I'd ever see norma again.

I walked home in my egg yolky tears but then Brett and Chett bursted out of the bushes and attacked me. They attacked my wenis. They, and both of them, took my wenisginity. They attacked me more than a whopper cheeseburger at burger king me. I es-cop-ead their tight grip on my now touched wenis and I ran as far as thee eye can see. And that's how I ended up being as bad as i could possibly be.

Present day

"softly on the outside, but as hard as a poop that's been sitting on the outside and it froze and it turned into a mcdonald chicken nugget, that's what i've been experiencing in my butthole. It was like the Sahara desert busted out of my ass!" Lorax wise words knock me out of my day dreamin dick!