The Rose

Chapter 5

It's the dream afraid of waking

That never, never takes the chance

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Dear Kate,

It's been several days but my hand still hurts from beating up Lockwood. I kept thinking about that night. It was the best dumbest idea I had. The memory of it all makes me giddy and smile so widely like I slept with a hanger on my face, as Monica of FRIENDS said. Kate, it's not just a kiss, is it? For both of us. We both felt something. I know you did even if you're multi-tasking. I know you can't admit it, yet.

I can wait and I will always wait.

And if I were him, I will love you with all of my heart and yet still give you the space you need. We'll dive into it together and still give you time alone. I'm not sure if you will keep a foot out the door still but I want you to know that I will love you no matter what. I don't care how many times I will write this but I will take care of you. I will never let you get hurt.

My brain might still be frozen. Again, I'll be a good partner and let you. Just knowing that you are alive, that we're all alive, is enough. The thought of knowing and seeing you walking, talking, breathing is enough to make me happy.

I'm going to let this feeling rest again but if you need to talk or if you just need someone to be there, I will be there.

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What I said before, when you let me back as your partner again after my summer at the Hamptons, why you threw our bet, I never solved it. I realised now that when I look at you, I cannot figure you out. I always try, always look to see if I can crack something on that wall, but I can't. That's when I told myself that you're a mystery I am never going to solve. But I can spend a lifetime delving into it.

What I told you was true, Kate. If you just learn to open your eyes and look. Look not see. Understand.

Lockwood is a dangerous man. You don't need to chase him. Not at the moment. I promised myself that we will solve your mother's murder but not this way. You don't need to let them take your life away from you. You don't need to let them take you away from the people you love.

Your father came to see me at the loft and asked me to stop you and I told you. He loves you, Kate, and he doesn't want to lose you too. He already lost your mother and I don't think he can take it if he loses his little girl, his only child, to the same people he lost the love of his life, too. If Alexis is you and Jim is me, I know I can't.

Montgomery told me pretty much the same thing, that I can stop you.

They were wrong.

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Captain Montgomery called me. He told me everything. I should be in the hangar now but I need to let this go first.

I love you, Kate. I love you. I want you to be alright, to be whole when Montgomery tells us to run. I love you. And I always will.