I miss the old us. I miss the friendship that I thought would never change. I guess we can't have all the things, that we want. Like the friendship that I wish I still had.
To my friends before, what if she didn't die?Are we still complete? The four of us? And no other?I wonder what would happen if things didn't change,What if we're still classmates? What if I didn't take the test to change sections? Would we still be friends?
Even If I wanted to change the past, I couldn't. Even if that's what I want, I still can't let go of the fact that I believe.Everything happens for a reason, but right now. I still can't find the reason for it to happen, maybe I have found it, but I don't know if it's worth it.Was the things that happened, including her life, worth it?
I-I don't know, I'm living my life right now, but sometimes I felt like I wasn't even living. All I ever did was overthink. What did I do wrong? Is something wrong with me that the people I wished stayed always leave me? I wish to disappear sometimes, with no traces of me, so no one could know where I am. I wish I could start a new one. Where nobody knows me, where I can be without worrying about my past, where I can meet new people and leave everything behind.
Is it wrong to wish to forget everything behind, like what the world did to me?I am tired of caring for people who don't even want me. I am so tired to do what I thought I had to. To say that I've been a good friend even though they did not even ask for it, I am so tired of giving more than I receive, so tired of trying to be your good friend, and I realize now that maybe it really is not worth it, all my efforts and time that I wasted, was all for a friendship that is not meant to stay the same as they were.
But I know even if this is what I truly felt, no one would care, so I'll have to put up my mask and act like everything is okay. That everything is fine because no one would care. Especially no one would understand.
I Wished Everything Did Not Change
I Wish I Could Go Back, I Wish I Could Disappear And Never Came Back
