Did you know that I have those random breakdowns at the most random times at night?
Begging the world to give me someone I could lean into because I'm so tired of being the oldest, tired of being the oldest sibling, the oldest cousin, the older one.
When will I get the care that I dreamed of? The care that I'm longing for from an older brother/sister?
When will I get to be the youngest? when will I get the chance to be carefree and childish?? why do I always have to be the one leading by example??
I'm tired, super tired of these responsibilities, when? when can I have someone to lean on other than my parents? the one I don't hold any grudges and any responsibilities on? the one I could freely talk to on anything that's bothering me, I wanted to be the one who is heard too, and not the one who always listens.
I would like to be babied and be spoiled, be protected and admired purely and lovingly not just by my parents, I want that brotherly love and cared that I am craving and longing for since the day I could think of.
