SUPER TROUPER ⇒ jegulus one shots

BROTHERS, IN THE BIOLOGICAL SENSE

"Just shut up! God, you never know when to close that fat mouth of yours, do you?" Regulus snaps. "It's always fucking open, Sirius! Just rambling away over my life, which is none of your bloody business, by the way!" He says sharply.

Sirius seethes. Regulus can see it. He can see that every inch of his older brother is consumed with rage right now. But that is not to say that Regulus himself isn't angry right now as well. Sirius had entered through the front door roughly ten minutes earlier. "I just don't understand! Forgive me, for not understanding!"

"Oh, shut up, nobody asked you to understand! I genuinely don't care if you understand or not, truthfully,"

"You don't care if I don't understand why my best friend would sleep with you and then get you fucking pregnant and then not tell me?" Sirius spits. "You're what? Full term? And not a word of you and Prongs being together was ever mentioned to me!"

"Because it isn't your fucking business!"

"Yes! Yes, it is!"

"Yeah? Not like I need your permission to do anything! How is it your business that your best friend forgot to wear a fucking condom when he was fucking me?"

Sirius snaps viciously. "Because he's my best friend?"

"Well, if he was, I think he would've let you know that he fucked me," Regulus' jaw sets dangerously. "And that he got me knocked up," He adds wickedly. "Besides, what are you even doing here?"

Sirius blinks slowly before he tightens his jaw, his face set with anger. "It's James' house!" He yells. "What are you doing here?" He barks.

Regulus' grey eyes narrow at his brother. "I fucking live here, Sirius!" He yelps. "I'm nine months pregnant, obviously I don't live by myself anymore, you twat," He chirps at his brother. "Why'd you think your precious James hasn't had any of you over in the last two months?" Regulus snaps.

"My precious James?" Sirius repeats. A bitter laugh exits past his lips. "Well, I presume that he's your precious James now, isn't he?"

"Oh, fuck off! Neither of us fucking own him!" 

"So what? He's just shared at this stage then, but in secret?!"

Regulus is about to yell out a colourful reply when his face twists slightly. He ignores the budding pain in his abdomen in favour of yelling at his older brother. "Well, obviously! Because this is how you react to things! You just fucking blow up!"

"And is that something that you and Prongs discussed or is that just your fucking opinion, Regulus?" Sirius drawls sharply, his jaw set.

"Of course we discussed it, you stupid prick!" Regulus storms loudly. "Obviously we had to have the don't-invite-my-estranged-brother-over-because-i'm-carrying-your-child-and-he's-going-to-kill-me chat!" He shouts. "You're fucking naive if you think that I didn't ask James to not tell you because I knew that you would hate me for this!"

"You asked him to not tell me?" Sirius yells.

"Yes! Yeah, I did, Sirius! Because I knew, God, I fucking knew, that you'd just find a way to twist me into the bad person, like you're doing right now! You're being selfish," Regulus spits.

"Oh, and what was your mastermind plan then? James adopts a random fucking baby and you hide out in his home?"

Regulus feels his belly cramp uncomfortably. He needs to sit down, for sure. He's been on his feet for far too long, for however long this argument has been going on for. His pregnancy hasn't been particularly easy; his back pain is agonising and he usually feels the need to sit down every now and then, for fear of either being sick and dizziness.