I Hate You

19. "i know you feel it too"

"Where are you taking me? I don't want to go anywhere with you." I pout like a helpless toddler. I am appalled by my own behaviour. Brandon adamantly dragged me out to the curb of the street where the smokers and drunk models gathered. The chilly air hits my bare legs and I begin to shiver, I'm actually grateful for his leather jacket right now.

"What about Max?" I stumble, realizing I pretty much just ditched her inside. "Max will be fine, I called Brian and he's coming to get her." Brandon reassures me as he orders yet another uber to save me from my the aftermath of my overdrinking. This is the second time he has had to take me home. What have I become?

He notices my shivering body and throws his arms around mine, rubbing them to generate heat. "Why are you doing this?" I am too ashamed to be angry with him right now, I'm just thankful he saved me from myself. "Because Jess, this isn't you." He towers over me once again, I have to tilt my whole head just to make eye contact with him. How would he know anything about me?

I know I shouldn't but I feel safe in his arms right now, a lot safer than I did with James Dean that's for sure. I can't even process what I did tonight, or almost did. This still doesn't change the fact that Brandon's a player and he will try to play me again. In fact, that's probably exactly what he is doing right now.

//

As I stumble through my apartment door, I come to the conclusion that I've been doing this way too much lately. On any typical Friday night, I would be mellowing out with Jess and Brian or catching up on some editing slumped into my comfy couch with cookies baking in the oven. And yet, this is now the second time Brandon has taken me home and lured me into his trap.

"Okay thanks for bringing me home, you can get back to your girl of the week now." I slur my words, the remaining alcohol in my system left me a blabbering honest mess.

"Damn, that really bothers you, huh?" He helps me with my jacket and heels, which were absolutely killing me at this point. Never again. "I knew you lied." He closes the distance between us, inching towards my face slowly. Right now time completely stands still. "Lied about what?" I play coy, mainly because I have no other cards left to play.

"I can't stop thinking about you after that kiss and I know you feel it too."

"What?" I feel so utterly shaken to my core. He's good, he's really good. "You're telling me the thought really never entered your pretty little head? Not even once?" He goes in for the kill, placing a soft touch on my cheek, the spot that melts me every time. "Hey," he grabs a strand of my brown locks and twirls it around his finger. "You finally let your hair down." He carefully brushes it out of my face.

I am mesmerized by the gentle twinkling look in his eyes. A look I can't say I've ever seen on Brandon's face. I'm staring at his plump lips right now. Oh how badly I want to kiss them. Suddenly the week's events flashed through my mind and I nearly sobered up from rage. "Do I feel it after the kiss?" I smack his hand away from my face.

"What about the parade of women you keep throwing in my face? You expect me to believe you after all that? Save it."

I stomp over into my living room and begin taking off my jewelry one by one, my earrings were overstimulating me almost as much as this conversation. "So you noticed. I knew you would." His calm low voice strikes something in me. Like a match.

"Brandon, I've had enough." I put my hand up in front of me to prevent him from getting any closer. "You distract me at work, play silly mind games with me, butt into my business, kiss me, spout all these lies in my face and then claim you are my friend?"

"Out of the two of us, I never actually lied."

Of all the things he chose to respond to from that list, he chose that.

He can sense me lowering my guard from his lingering stare so instead of moving my hand out of the way, he grabs it and holds it in his. We both look over to see how our fingers interlock, like two puzzle pieces finding the perfect fit. The softness of his touch is so unlike his superficial exterior. I feel the butterflies try to fight their way out of my stomach, they thump in my chest as if about to break loose with every breath. Our eyes move up our arms and meet in the middle, sharing a burning gaze.

I finally understand the saying 'you can cut the tension with a knife'.

His eyes moved to my lips and he licked his own, as if preparing for me. If I'm making another mistake tonight, It's going to be this one.

Before I can talk myself out, I make the move and press my lips to his. I feel his head tilt back from shock, but then press into me once he realizes what's happening. I feel him let go as he slips his fingers through my hair, holding my head as our kiss grows stronger. I steady myself with my hands around his neck for support.

All I can think at this moment right now is how badly I want to take it further and give in to my wildest fantasies. The ones he apparently knows so much about. The seed he planted in my mind a week ago has already sprouted and continues to grow rapidly. The desire is building inside me and is begging for release. I can almost feel his too. His eager hands slide up my dress only this time I don't feel nervous as much as I am excited. His movements are slow and methodical, making me crave more.

I can't help it anymore and I must have him. Our kisses speed up as we push and pull together. I move my hand to his belt and I feel the hard bulge awaiting me. Oh, it's big.

I try to unbuckle his pants in a flurry when to my dismay his hand moves me away. I snap out of it and open my eyes with confusion painted clearly on my face. "Not like this, Jess." His hand holds mine as he tries to slow his breathing. "Not when you're drunk off your ass. As much as you look fucking amazing in that dress," He sighs. "I want you to be in your right mind when we fuck."

He chooses now to be a gentleman?

I gulp loudly and step back in shock. Suddenly the room begins to spin again and I feel the burning desire to drop on the floor. He rushes over and holds me up. "Let's get you to bed." His strong arms guide me over to my room and I'm too out of it to fight him right now. My bed does sound tempting now that he mentions it.

"I'm fine," I begin to assure him. While I do appreciate him coddling me, I would've made it to my bed perfectly well all on my own. "Oh, I totally believe you." He humours me but I don't appreciate his sarcasm.

I face-plant into my clean sheets and I feel as though I am being hugged by a cool cloud. I hear him chuckle as he drapes the comforter over my body. I feel him brush my hair out of my face but I'm way too tired to react. "Sleep tight, Jess" is the last thing I hear before I drift to dreamland.

//

I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing, however, I'm too distraught to search for my phone in my room. My digital clock reads the time, it's only 9:00 am. By some miracle a glass of water appeared on my nightstand, I use all the power in me to lift myself up to the edge of the bed and quench my undying thirst. My insides thank me. I don't know where that water came from but I am grateful. It regenerated me just enough to get myself out of bed and finally change out of this cursed black dress.

Dropping it right onto the floor, I grab my cardigan and throw it over my naked body. I head out to my kitchen to find something for this killer headache.

Rubbing my eyes I step out and after rubbing them again to make sure my eyes aren't deceiving me, there's Brandon. Passed out on my couch, still in his jeans, wrapped in my grey throw blanket like an oversized burrito. "Oh my god!" I exclaim, breaking him out of his sleep.

"I'm up!" He jolts as I wrap my cardigan tightly around my exposed body. "What are you doing on my couch?"

Suddenly memories of last night come flooding back.

"I was just so tired after putting you to sleep last night that I crashed," He squints from the bright sunlight.

Before I even have a chance to process the events that transpired and figure out what I'm going to do with him, there's a loud knock on my front door.

"Jess! It's Max, are you in there?"