I Hate You

11. "you're crazy"

It's been a slow week and it's only Wednesday now. This new project has been quite tiresome for me, considering each week Sophie, my boss, hands me a brand new shiny flash drive with a large set of files to edit. I've been managing to get most of my work done at home however, since I can't concentrate at work with Brandon around.

I've been trying to see him in a new light but that doesn't change the fact that he never does what I ask him to and when he does, he does it all wrong. He's lazy, inappropriate and completely unprofessional. Not to mention, he distracts me every 12 minutes with his irrelevant questions.

Since this week we had an exceptionally large amount of files to edit, I had to invite Brandon over after work to finish off the things we couldn't at the office. After he finally arrived 34 minutes late, which didn't surprise me at all, I let him in.

"Your apartment is scary clean" he casually scans the layout of my living room. "Thanks," I rush to say because we have work yet to be finished. "No, that's not really a compliment. It's way too clean actually, I'm worried you might be a serial killer," he jokes. I laugh sarcastically. "Now would you please sit down? We have a lot to go through and you need extra time for explaining."

//

After only 47 minutes of editing I am interrupted by Brandon's low groans. "What is it?" I ask. "I'm bored," he whines. "Really? Are you doing this again?" I'm starting to get annoyed. It's like having a child, and I hate kids. "Yes, can we take a break? It's been a long day."

"No, this has to be perfect, Sophie wants the final product by Friday and we're barely halfway done."

"Well couldn't you have at least offered me a drink?" he jumps off the couch and helps himself to my wine cupboard. I can tell that he will look for any excuse not to concentrate right now. "Maria Christina, huh?" he asks taking a bottle off the shelf and examining the label.

"It's my favourite." I say taking my eyes off my laptop screen. "Well I guess it'll do," he says popping the brand new bottle open. "Don't you have anything stronger? Oh wait. Never mind, seeing as how well you handle your alcohol, I'm guessing wine is the only thing you drink?" he teases. "I'm a lightweight, what do you want from me?" I don't appreciate him belittling me. He thought about pouring himself a glass but instead decided to grab the whole bottle. "What are you doing?" I ask very irritated. It seemed I had to constantly convince him to do his work and it was starting to wear me out. It's not like all I wanted to do was work, but if this project wasn't finished I would be letting Sophie down.

"Come on Jess, live a little." He takes a swig. "You actually called me Jess," my eyes open wide. "Yeah I did, now come on. You look very stressed, let's go for a walk." He comes up to me and holds his hand out for me to take. Normally I would've said no, but at this point I had given up trying to get him to do his work, and besides I really did need a break.

He concealed the bottle of wine with a plastic bag and we walked down to the small park a few blocks from where I lived. We sat on the cold bench and usually I would be freaking out over the lost time on finishing a project but I had truly forgotten all my worries. It was peaceful and quiet in the park as a nice cool breeze was flowing by.

I took another sip from the bottle. "Okay your turn. What's the craziest thing you did in college?" he asks. "I don't really know," I giggle as the warm alcohol gently burns my throat, making me feel warm and cozy inside. "Think about it, I really wanna hear the craziest thing little miss goody two-shoes did." I slapped him across the arm a little harder than I wanted to. The wine was starting to get to me, and I could tell it was getting to him too because his hazel eyes were kinda sleepy and he seemed dazed. "Oh yeah? You really wanna know?" suddenly a story pops into mind.

"I really do."

"Okay, cause it's pretty crazy," I giggle again.

"Just say it already."

"Alright. So in college after my boyfriend cheated on me I was heartbroken. Max told me to kill the son of a bitch, but obviously I didn't. Anyways, instead I broke into the house of the girl who he cheated on me with and trashed her room. But I accidentally knocked over one of her candles and started a fire-"

"You what?!" he yelled.

"Yeah, but I panicked and didn't know what to do so I left. The next day I found out that nearly half of her house burned down. Luckily no one got hurt, but I never confessed so no one ever found out who did it."

Brandon paused for a moment with his mouth slightly open. He stared at me in surprise and I bet he didn't think I was capable of something like that. "You are actually insane," he says almost lightheartedly. "No one knows besides Max. I never did anything like that again." I say, even though I can't deny that what I did wasn't exactly the best approach at revenge.

"No no you are truly insane," he laughs. His laugh sounds so genuine it causes me to smile. I don't think I ever actually said anything funny enough to induce laughter in him. "I know it's a messed up thing to do but," I pause hesitantly. "What?" he asks.

"It's just, he really broke my heart. I loved him so much but I guess he didn't feel the same way. It also made me kind of jealous of Max and her boyfriend of 7 years. It made me wonder if I'll ever find someone who will stick around for that long." I continue to spill my guts and for some reason I can't stop. "In high school and even college, guys would always just come and go, none of them stayed. Max and her boyfriend, Brian just clicked from the start." Brandon actually listened attentively as I rambled on.

"Brian would always do all these super romantic things for Max, and of course I'm happy for her, but that never happened to me. And he was super romantic, like straight out of a Nicholas Sparks novel. The kind of romantic that made you wanna gag sometimes, because it was that cheesy," I noticed Brandon staring deeply at me so I turned to him and looked into his eyes. "Call me crazy, but there's a part of me that still wants someone to do those cheesy things for me too," I admit.

Brandon just nods and leans his face in closer to mine. "You're crazy" he says. Suddenly I am in a trance, lost in his eyes and as his face is brought closer to mine I can't help but wonder what it would be like to feel his lips on mine. But I know that I shouldn't be thinking that. God only knows how many girls he kissed with those lips.

Then I realize his eyes are locked on to my lips and it's like he's going in for the kill. "What are you doing?" I ask and he instantly backs away.

He turns away almost embarrassed and instantly the space between us becomes vacant.

I became very aware of my surroundings; the park, all that wine, him just an inch away from my skin.

I was so confused as to why I let any of this happen. I should've stopped him at the wine, and I know how much I need to get done so why did I agree to going to the park?  Why did I just tell him my whole life story? This is so unlike myself.

I don't understand why I kinda wish he didn't back away.