I Hate You

18. "you deserve better"

I've never seen Max hop off the couch that fast. All I had to say was "I want to go out and find me a guy" and that's all it took for her to shut off the movie and jump up.

"My bestie is getting laid tonight!" She squealed. I almost instantly got cold feet when I heard her say that but nevertheless, I pushed forward. "We are gonna find you a rich handsome LA man and he is gonna rock your world!" She yelled as she ran into her closet and tossed a pair of strappy heels at my feet. While I didn't think this was necessary and certainly made me feel less comfortable, I had to commit.

The uber arrived in just a few short moments and we were out the door. I want to say I am surprised by how willing Max is to do this but I remember she probably hasn't had a night out since her engagement party and she's been waiting for this day ever since my ex boyfriend dumped me. My fears were starting to get the best of me as I had fully come to terms with what I just signed up for.

The rush of throwing on our makeup and fixing our hair had worn off and I take in that I am in the back of this car, wearing the most expensive shoes I ever put on my feet and Max's short little black dress. I might need a drink to get through this, one that is much stronger than wine.

The music could be heard from inside the car that's how loud it was. It seemed everyone was out tonight and dressed to kill, might I add. We skipped the line at this well-known venue because shockingly enough, there were too many guys inside and they needed to even out the numbers. I guess this is where people mingle nowadays. Can't find love the good old-fashioned way anymore.

As we brushed past the sweaty inebriated crowd of bodies rubbing up against each other, the shock set in. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. It was already too late because Max was over the moon.

She bought me a drink to start off. This blue and fizzy concoction with an adorable lemon slice stuck right on the rim. It was surprisingly delightful. Just a few sips of the magic juice and I managed to get buzzed, here we go.

I can finally truly take in my environment and my oh my, is it wild. Everyone is packed into the dancefloor so closely there is hardly any room to breathe. All of these girls look like models and actresses meanwhile the guys are on the prowl, circling like wolves with pure hunger in their eyes. This is so not me.

But maybe that's exactly what I'm gonna need to get over this stupid obsession once and for all. "I'll have a shot of Tequila please," I shout over the loud, annoying, and overly-remixed song. Max shoots me a surprised look. "Where's Jess and what have you done with her?" She nudges me playfully. After dropping a hefty 10-dollar bill for the bartender I take the shot before my brain even has time to think.

And just like that, everything was a blur. Max and I shoved our way onto the floor and the hungry crowd gladly welcomed us. The warm and fuzzy feeling all over distracted me from the fact that I spontaneously dropped everything to spend my Friday night dancing in some club, way past my usual bedtime and let multiple guys feel up on me from behind. Being touched in ways I haven't been in a very very long time sent tingles through my entire body. Especially down below the waist.

Max and I danced away and I even turned to the guy behind me to dance with him too. Turns out he wasn't too bad of a view actually. His unbuttoned shirt caught my attention, he had an almost James Dean look to him, all that was missing was the cigarette. Too bad there was no room for conversation but just dancing up on him will do for now. This is it. This is what all these hungry people chase every Friday night. The exhilarating feeling of being touched, teased, wanted and craved under the flashing lights and summer heat.

Come to think of it I don't think I actually ever danced at a club or party before. It truly is something to completely let go of your inhibitions and let your body move you. Out of the sea of people, a particular figure catches my eye. The dark spinning room makes it difficult to make out the face but I recognize the girl dancing next to him. Our receptionist, Sarah.

Oh my god.

Out of all the clubs and all the days, he had to be here tonight? To think I could've missed out on this completely if we just stayed home. LA isn't THAT small.

Once I put it all together I snapped out of the daze I was in. Pushing my way through the sea of people yet again and over to the bartender I began to think about how I'm going to regret this in the morning without a doubt. I haven't drunk this much since high school, one too many blackouts and I've sworn off that stuff for good. Tonight I need it.

I'm waiting for my drink at the bar when I feel a hand on my shoulder. "My, my, is that really you? I must be dreaming." Brandon's most recognizable voice sends a chill down my spine.

I narrow my eyes and pull my lips in. "What are you doing here?" I ask spinning the question onto him. "Me? Last time I checked, I'm free to go out whenever I want." He still thinks this is a joke.

"I saw who you're here with." I cut straight to the chase, hoping my authority would throw him off. I mean it is highly inappropriate to go clubbing with someone from the workplace, but hey who am I to talk, right?

"That's interesting," he looks incredibly amused. "Why would that be any of your concern?"

My drink is made and I grab it without hesitation. Even Brandon is taken aback, so much so he can't hide his smile. "Of course it isn't," I bark. "You go and kiss whoever you want, why stop at the office? Why not go after every single girl in LA too?" The more I drink the easier it is for me to unload on him.

"I don't really see how that's a problem considering our kiss meant nothing," he leans in closer so only I can hear him over the song. "No worries, I heard you loud and clear, boss."

As I hear his final words I storm off in an uncontrollable rage. I can't even look at his smug face anymore. I spot the guy I ditched in the crowd and I pull him toward the stairs leading up to the bathrooms. Max is busy dancing away but she shoots me a wink so I take that as her blessing.

It's so dark I almost miss the steps but Mr. James Dean managed to catch my fall and hold me up. His hands sitting very low on my waist but at this point, I didn't care. I looked for Brandon's eyes at the bar before I went up to make sure that he would see but before I knew it the guy had pulled me out of sight.

The alcohol particles floating around in my bloodstream spun my head in a whirl as our lips collided so intensely. He pulled me in tight and pressed up against me giving my numb body waves of pleasure. His hands impatiently moved up my dress and my back in this vacant bathroom. His sloppy kisses down my neck had me praying that no one walks in at this moment.

As his hands reached places that made me nervous I softly tried to push him off. With a few more messy wet kisses he slowed down and allowed me to compose myself. I slowly began to prepare for the idea of it happening. Now that the moment is here I don't know if I'm ready. I mean I don't even know his name and he clearly has no idea I'm a virgin but something about the dark burgundy bathroom walls and his strong muscular stature excites me. I don't know if I'll ever be truly ready so I guess now is as good time as any. His hands continue to move up my thigh and I picture Brandon.

I almost finally let him in but suddenly there is a harsh bang on the door. A male voice calls out in an angry manner and we both realize we have been caught. James Dean opens the door as I try to come down. I am ready to face the embarrassment when suddenly Brandon pushes past him and rushes over to me.

He assesses the situation, looking back at both of us and his face grows with disgust. "Did you really wanna lose your virginity to him?" He shakes me as if he is trying to wake me from a dream. "In the bathroom of a club?"

I have no words at all.

"You deserve better," he drapes his iconic leather jacket over my bare shoulders and guides me out of the washroom.

"Come on."