Away From You

19 - Away From You

- WHERE ARE YOU? -

"If a picture paints a thousand words

Then why can't I paint you?

The words will never show

The you I've come to know"

…

Candice's POV

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Araneta, welcome to my home" I greeted Mrs. Irene Araneta and her husband, Greggy Araneta. The lady was about to kiss me on my cheek but I avoided her.

"Let's go inside po" I conveyed and the two just nodded their heads. I saw a clue of disappointment in my mom's face but she tried to hide it by smiling.

It's been five years since I last saw them. I admit, I really missed them, especially mommy.

Are you wondering how it happened to us? I don't even know how we ended up like this.

The past years have been really tough for me. I didn't know how to survive. I feel like I am all alone. No one stood up for me. Hinayaan nila akong lahat. Maging ang dati kong pamilya, hindi nila ako matanggap dahil lang sa bintang na sa tagal na ng panahon na lumipas ay hindi napatunayan.

But I am trying to forget the bitterness of the past. Kinaya kong tumayo mula sa aking pagkakadapa.

Ilang taon akong mag-isa, ngayong masaya na ako, saka sila babalik? I don't know who they are. Wala na akong kilalang mga magulang na hinayaang magdusa ang sarili nilang anak.

Nawalan na sila ng isa, hinayaan pa nila akong mawala sa mga kamay nila.

"Candice, are you with us?" I came back to my senses when I heard her voice. We are here in one of my properties in San Francisco, California. They were invited by my boyfriend. I don't like them here but I do not have a choice.

"Uh yes, I'm sorry. I was just thinking about something" I said to them.

"Happy birthday, anak. Miss na miss ka na namin" Mommy said. She's holding my sister's picture and her tears are flowing..Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko. 

Hindi ko mapigilan ang aking mga traydor na luha kaya lumabas muna ako.

Ginagawa ko na ito three years ago. Every birthday ni Eya, naghahanda kami for her. Limang taon na rin noong huli ko siyang nakita't nakasama.

"Malamig na riyan, pumasok ka na sa loob" napatingin ako sa nagsalita. It was Greggy. My very daddy Greggy.

"Ano naman pong pakialam mo?" I sarcastically asked. He had a deep breath before sitting beside me. But there's a lot of space between us. Baka mapahiran ako ng kasamaan niya.

"You know, I'm ready to be a daughter to you. Ang tagal kong dinalangin sa Diyos na sana bumalik ka pero ngayon, I pray and pray to him na sana hindi ka na lang namin nakilala. Sana until now, kasama pa namin si Eya. How could you do that to her? She is your daughter!" I broke down in tears.

"Candice, we both know na I didn't do anything wrong to her. It was you. Kasalanan mo naman kung bakit siya wala ngayon dito, diba? If hindi ka nagpaka selfish, sana nandito pa yang kapatid mo" He conveyed. I don't know bakit mas pinili ni mommy itong lalaking ito over us.

For the second time, he chose him again.

"Stop gaslighting me. Hindi na ako yung 18 years old na Candice na nagawa mong paikot-ikutin sa mga kamay mo. I thought kapag bumalik ka, magiging mas masaya na kami kasi makukumpleto na tayo. But you were nothing but a crack starter of the family. The cracks of our broken family started with you!" I shouted the last part, making him shocked.

"Don't you dare!" He shouted as well and he used his hand again on my face. He slapped me, again.

"Gregorio!" It was mommy. I was covering my face with my hands.

"Anak, anak? You okay?" She asked. How could I be okay? Pinagbuhatan na naman ako ng kamay ng magaling niyang asawa.

"Nakikita mo bang okay ako? Sa tingin mo, okay pa ako?!" I half shouted.

"Anak naman.." she muttered.

"Stop! Tama na ang pagbubulag-bulagan! Sana nakita mo kung paano niya ako sinaktan, ma. Anak mo ako, hindi anak lang" I stated before I ran inside my house.

"Anak!" I heard her shout.

I was inside my room when I heard a knock. Dalawang oras na akong nandito at magmula kanina umiiyak ako.

"Pasok" Mahinang sabi ko dahil wala na akong energy para sumigaw pa.

I heard the door open and close.

"Inom ka muna, Candice. You may be dehydrated if you don't drink this water anak" It's mommy.

"Ayoko. Umalis ka na rito" I said.

"Please? Kahit kaunti lang" Punong puno ng lungkot ang kanyang boses.

"Puwede ba?! Stop acting na may pakialam ka!"

"May pakialam ako dahil sabi mo nga, anak kita hindi anak lang!" Pagsabay niya sa aking pagsigaw.

"Pero bakit ganon? Bakit hindi ko maramdaman! Bakit ayaw niyong iparamdam!"

"Uminom ka na lang please. Tapos aalis na ako. Miss na miss na kita, sunshine ko. Miss na miss na miss. Bumalik ka na sa bahay please. Bumalik na kayo sa bahay" Mahina niyang sabi. Ang mga luha ay patuloy na tumutulo.

"I will go home if that house can be a home. It is not a home anymore. I don't feel like it's home anymore" I said to her. She hugged me. 

Nanlalambot ang puso ko sa tuwing nakikita ko siyang umiiyak. Nadudurog ako sa tuwing nakikita ko siyang nasasaktan pero mashadong masakit ang nangyari sa amin. Hindi ko pa kayang bumalik sa bahay na dating masigla.

Ibalik niyo muna ang kapatid ko bago ako bumalik sa inyo.

Limang taon nang nawawala ang kapatid ko. Sa limang taon na 'yon, hindi ako tumigil sa paghahanap.

Siguro parehas kami ng rason kaya kami umalis at nagpakalayo-layo.

Hindi dahil sa inisip namin ang mga sarili namin. Hindi dahil sa hindi namin sila mahal bagkus, sa sobrang pagmamahal namin sa mga magulang namin kaya namin sila iniwan.

"Kapag umalis kayo at nawala, doon lang ako totoong sasaya" Saad ng tatay ko.

I'm miles Away from you, Eya. I miss you so much.

...

(I'll be writing the flashbacks next chapter)