First Love | James Hetfield

Self Pity

1984

"The cop said his head cracked open." James stared at the wall as he spoke in a hushed voice. Annie stopped brushing her hands through his hair abruptly and looked down at him with furrowed brows.

As James turned his face up to look at her, she could've sworn she saw tears in his eyes. "He told me his head split open." He repeated.

He bit down hard and cringed as he remembered the sound of the man's head hitting the cement. "He didn't die." He shook his head, saying it as more of a reassurance to himself.

"But if Cliff didn't stop me, he probably would've." He continued shamefully.

Annie lifted his head once more and looked into his eyes. "Don't be so hard on yourself." She said as she could see the guilt in his eyes. "You... had your reasons..." she added. If the roles were reversed, and James was attacked, she'd do the same thing- to the best of her ability, being that she's not so strong physically. However, she still couldn't really understand why it made him so angry at that time when they didn't even like each other.

James nodded in understanding, dropping his head again and wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her closer. He sighed heavily. "I'd rather go somewhere closer this summer. Like maybe New York or something." His voice was muffled by her sweatshirt.

Annie shrugged. "Yeah. That'd be cool. I don't really care where we go."

As long as she was with him.

James brought his head up swiftly, inhaling deeply and wrapping his arms around her again. "I'm bored."

Annie laughed loudly when he flopped back onto the bed, pulling her with him so she was firmly on top of him. "Me too. What should we do today?"

It was silent as she waited for James' response.

"We could just stay in and fuck." He shrugged.

Annie whipped her head up and gave him a weird look, unable to hold back her laughter. "No thanks." She faked a disgusted look, rolling over to his side.

"What? You don't think I'm a good fuck?" James raised an eyebrow at her.

Annie stayed silent, pursing her lips together as she pretended to think.

James' mouth fell open and he scoffed, raising both eyebrows at her. "I'll show you a good fuck." He challenged, practically tackling her as he jumped on top of her.

The door behind them swung open. "Please... don't show anybody any fuck right now." They turned their heads to see Bea standing in the doorway with her hand over her eyes.

Annie threw her head back in laughter, and James rolled off her, grumbling something about no privacy.

"You could always just go back to your house." Bea blinked at him. James opened his mouth to respond, but she quickly spoke up. "Okay, whatever. It doesn't matter. You two need to get ready, because we're going to my parents' house for their dinner party."

"Dinner party?" Annie furrowed her brows. "What are we partying for?"

"St. Patrick's day."

James and Annie snorted at the same time. "People actually have parties for that?"

"I didn't even know it was St. Paddy's day." Annie added, scratching her jawline.

"Seriously?" Bea scoffed. "Whatever." She repeated, not having the time to bicker. "It's already four, and we're going in an hour, so get up." She clapped her hands together before leaving the room.

"Go shower, stinky." Annie smacked James' arm, repeating what he'd normally say to her. James groaned, rolling over and dropping his body on her. "Why..?" he mumbled into the crook of her neck.

"Because your hair smells like a bonfire." She cringed as her fingers would occasionally hit small knots in his hair. James mumbled something in response before leaving small kisses on her neck.

"You have to get up. And shower... so we can go to Bea's thing..." Annie said, tilting her head to give him easier access anyway.

"Come with me."

Although she liked the idea, she refused anyway. "No, I already showered." she shook her head, finally pushing him off her.

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