Safe Place

PROLOGUE

PSYCHE

"I'm honestly not afraid of dying. I even haven't thought of it as one of my fears." I softly spoke whilst I met my therapist's eyes.

"Then what are you afraid of? Do you often escape certain circumstances because you don't like experiencing pain? Or are you just afraid of the risks you have to put yourself into?" I took a deep breath and composed myself.

"I can't deny the fact that I don't like pain. What I mean is, some people doesn't like experiencing pain, right? Yes, it's part of the repeated cycle of life. But feeling tremendous pain most of the time isn't my thing. I detest torments." mabilis kong sagot. pinatong ko ang mga kamay ko sa ibabaw ng hita ko.

She slowly nodded and wrote things down her paper on a clipped board. She picked up a book and flipped some pages.

"Go on Psyche. Tell me about what you consider fear. If you think that you've had enough, it's alright to stop." she said softly.

"Life." I whispered as if I'm afraid of someone hearing it. But we're the only two in a secluded room. It just makes me feel more of a coward.

"What about life? You can say it sweetheart." she's soothing me and my active anxiousness.

"I'm afraid of life." I took a shaky breath and closed my eyes. I was trying to control my emotions.

Don't burst out Psyche!

"I'm afraid of living rather than dying." paulit ulit akong huminga ng malalim. Ayokong isipin nya na I'm so bothered; that's why I'm like this.

What if she thinks that I'm lying? Because I'm so fucking nervous. I can't calm myself gods.

"Living is a wonderful thing for some people. The longer they live, the happier they are. They get to live with their love ones together within a prolonged time." my therapist nodded. Maybe I'm doing good? She's urging me to continue my statements.

"In my case, it's not applicable to me. Frankly, I see living as an inconvenience. Particularly, just a problem. That's why I question my existence daily." she nodded and wrote down again.

"Perhaps I'm undoubtedly a coward. It's not that I'm afraid of risks and  pain that comes with it. I've had countless of horrid experiences involving afflicting agony throughout my entire life." she hummed and wrote down again.

It's truly egotistical of me to think of things this way, considering the fact that I'm not the only living creature here on earth.

"It is was it is. I'm petrified of life itself. I'm distinctly pertaining to its methods of moderating not only mankind itself." she sighed after my assertion.

*knock knock*

"Come in." she cleared her throat.

"Doktora Cleo, excuse me po. May tao pong naghahanap sainyo sa ground floor sa lobby."

*ring ring*

My phone's ringing. Nakalimutan kong patayin bago magsimula ang session namin kanina.

"Looks like you've got your hands full as well sweetheart. We'll continue this next week. Are you okay with that?" she stood up and approached me.

"Uhm yes. I have to go as well doc. Thank you so much for listening. I'll see you around." I also stood up and shook hands with her.

*ring ring*

"Hello?" it's an unknown number.

"Salve lo-"

*toot toot toot*

God knows how fast I dropped the phone call. 

"FUCKING SHIT?!"

This is drastic! Alessandro Razon in the fucking flesh!