A Name Without A Face

Chapter 12 {Mesprendre}

Days.

Days turned into weeks.
They seemed like a blur, twisting around in my mind like thousands of stinging thorns.
Control.
I had to keep control.
This anger only kept growing. It's all I could seem to feel.
Was I being beaten? Was I not... Perfect?
Did the scientists make a mistake? That couldn't be though.
I could remember... Something. Something of my past is leaking through.
Smiling...
You have greater freedom than we do.
Freedom?
Who... Said that to me?
Small droplets dripped down my face, falling into the sink. I watched them fall in silence, grazing my fingers over the small cracks in the sink. What is...
What is my purpose? I heard the door open, but didn't bother to turn around. In the mirror, I could see someone enter behind me. He stopped right behind me, and narrowed his eyes. "You've been gone a long time." He scowled. "What are you doing?"
I turned away from the mirror, letting my gaze fall to my hands. "It's not important." I went to back away but felt a grasp on my arm. His name... I could recall it if I wanted too, but did I? Fuyuhiko, the yakuza. He was small, weak, and still... He didn't hesitate to grab me.
"Where do you think you're going? You come in here everyday at the same time and all you do is throw water in your face. What's wrong?"
"You bore me..."
"What was that?" Fuyuhiko didn't move, but I did. I couldn't seem to stop myself. I was... Suddenly filled with anger and I didn't know what was happening before there was a thunderous crash and I was standing above the student, unconscious.
It had left a dent in the wall, and blood began to seep around his head.
I did this.
I finally lost to the headmaster. What have I...
The boy was breathing, but there would be trouble if he awoke.
I turned and hurried out of the bathroom. Thoughts began to swirl around my mind. I became dizzy. I hurt another student, I was just a killer. Just a...
I couldn't seem to keep myself up. What was this feeling spreading through my body? I shut my eyes as tight as I could, and when I opened them again, someone was standing before me, appearing silently just like... Just like last time.
Junko giggled, then crouched to meet my face. "Shame." Her voice whispered. "You're so weak, and who knows what the headmaster is gonna do? Jin isn't going to be happy about this." Her hands suddenly cupped my face, but I didn't have the energy to push her away. "Do you feel that despair? I'll be waiting for you on the other side... Kamukura." As she backed away, everything began to swirl around me, and I realized something had hit against my head.


Nothing. There was nothing. There was no life, there was no voice, it's silent and cold. Why is it cold? I'm... I'm falling apart.
My body is...
No.
I can feel it. My heartbeat. The light pounding in my chest was too weak.
I'm... Just an experiment. How long would it be before I crumbled away?
I can't think like that.
I'm not scared.
I feel no such thing as fear.
But I wasn't interested in falling apart.
I tried to open my eyes and get a look at where I was. As a bright white met my sight, I immediately knew. Junko left me there to die. The headmaster took action and now i'm...
How could I be defeated so easily? I feel no hope, I feel no despair, but a feeling had gripped at my chest back then and I became weak.
How boring.
I tried to move but I felt my body frozen in place. Then, a voice.
"It seems like he's awake."
"Then give him another dose."
Another voice joined the other. I could feel a tightness around my body and began to struggle. The moment I made an attempt, there was a stabbing pain in my arm. Everything began to become clear once more, and I found myself lying against a table. A face above me seemed to be studying me carefully. What do they want now? Whatever I was stabbed with, it was making me dizzy already. I wanted to... Sleep.