The Adventures of a Mushroom | Genshin x Child!Reader

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟭𝟳: 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗹'𝘀 𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲

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"What happened? Why have you mobilized so many guards?" the red-haired man asked, calmly polishing a wineglass with a rag. He didn't look concerned in the least that a precious historical artifact had been stolen.

"Haven't you heard, Master Diluc? Two thieves were trying to steal the Holy Lyre—a woman in purple and a... blue flying thing!"

Huh! How rude! I'm a mushroom! M-O-S-R-U-M!

"Oh? Are those the best descriptions you could muster? Truly, the Knights of Favonius are the picture of eloquence." His eyes glinting, Diluc set down the wineglass, which was now sparkling clean.

"Er—well—" The guards exchanged sheepish glances. "—we, uh, didn't really get a good look at either of them, and now they're loose in the city! We have to find them before they escape with the Lyre!"

"Sounds urgent," Diluc said. "Well, I wouldn't dare to interfere in the Knights' official business. Believe they headed that way." And he pointed out the door, in a completely wrong direction.

The knights took the bait. Charging out the door, they paused to salute to Diluc. "Understood. Thank you, Master Diluc!"

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"So." Diluc looked at you, then at Venti, from across the counter. "I want answers. First—who are you two?"

"I am Venti, the best bard in Mondstadt! You've probably heard of me." Venti reached over to pat you on the head, but you flew up onto his head and sat there. "And this is my friend, a brave and bouncy Fungus!"

"So you two are the thieves I just heard about," Diluc reasoned. "For the record, I like your guts for trying to steal the Holy Lyre der Himmel. Even if you are fools."

"Hey!" Venti protested. "Didn't you hear those guards? Do I look like 'a woman in a purple coat' to you? We didn't steal it!"

You nodded assent, crossing your tentacles in what you thought was an intimidating pose.

"Hmm." Sounding unconvinced, Diluc said, "Well, even if it were you, I'd let the Knights figure it out themselves. Those Knights... inefficient from beginning to end."

"Seems you really don't like the Knights of Favonius," Venti observed.

You and me both, Mister Strawberry. The knights are meanies! 'Cept for Miss Grape and Miss Lemon and Cherry-Fairy, of course.

"Just... personal differences," Diluc muttered, in a way that made you think there was more to the story. "Now, answers. Why did you steal the Holy Lyre?"

Venti opened his mouth to speak, and the tavern door swung open for a third time. In stepped a blonde traveler and a floating white-haired fairy...

In a heartbeat, Diluc shoved you under the counter into a rack full of wine bottles, while Venti picked up a random empty wineglass and began pretending to drink from it. Both of them were phenomenal actors.

"Ah..." Venti sighed in (false) satisfaction, shaking his wineglass as if he'd just had a good long drink. "Truly outstanding wine, Master Diluc! Another glass for the bard, please."

Diluc shook his head, reaching reluctantly under the counter. Instead of grabbing a bottle of wine, he petted your head reassuringly. Turning back to Venti, he said sternly, "You've had far too much to drink. Can you even pay for it all?"