The Adventures of a Mushroom | Genshin x Child!Reader

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟮𝟳: 𝗦𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗼𝘂𝗰𝗵𝗲'𝘀 𝗔𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

SPLASH!

Cold enveloped you, seeping into your bones and slowing your movements. A froth of bubbles filled the water as you struggled against the current. Almost instantly, though, you began to rise. Your sense of relief vanished when a second, heavier splash sent you back under.

"(Y/N)! I've got you! I—" Ivan's heroic speech was cut off by coughing as he breathed in water. "I can't swim!"

Oh, brother.

You tried to grab Ivan, but a rock loomed ahead, and you both dove away from it. You surfaced just in time to see the current sweep Ivan's dark head further downriver.

At this rate, we'll be smashed apart on these rocks! They're super sharp!

"Try to go towards shore, Big Brother!" you managed. Against the roaring current, however, you didn't think Ivan had heard you. His arms were flailing like an octopus. Poor arms. They thought they were doing something helpful. (They weren't.)

Then there was a third splash. (Hat Guy? you wondered.) The giant hat floating on the river like a black lily pad confirmed your thought. But why was only the hat visible?

Unless... he can't swim either?!

"Grab onto (Y/N)!" you burbled, spreading your arms in an awkward underwater T-pose. "(Y/N) can float!"

Instantly, Ivan grabbed your right arm. Scaramouche hesitated, as if he were warring between pride and THE FACT THAT HE WAS ABOUT TO DROWN, and grabbed your left arm.

"Yeesh, Mister Hat Guy. You're... so... heavy!" You felt the weight dragging you down, but your body simply refused to sink. It probably came from being a mushroom.

The problem was that the added weight made you a lot less agile than before. You could barely avoid the rocks, let alone swim to shore.

A hilichurl standing on the riverbank saved you. Upon spotting what looked like a three-headed monster floating down the river, the sensible creature decided that the best course of action was to shoot first and ask questions later. Luckily, it was a Cryo hilichurl archer, and its arrows bounced right off your hat, creating a patch of ice around you.

The footing allowed you to drag Ivan and Scaramouche across the ice and dump them onto the grass, where they lay dripping and groaning. Ivan appeared to be unconscious. The hilichurl had fled upon seeing that its arrows were ineffective, conveniently leaving you a nice little campsite.

As soon as you had propped up Ivan on a log, you turned to Scaramouche and folded your arms in an imitation of Kaeya. "So! What's going on? Why'd you try to—"

Scaramouche coughed, somehow managing to look frail, menacing, and embarrassed at the same time. "What happened is that you wrecked my plan. I was trying to fake your death, so that those useless soldiers at camp wouldn't think twice about their new recruit looking an awful lot like you. Instead you almost killed all three of us."

"Huh?"

"Did you really think I wanted to kill you?" he interrupted quietly.

You thought of the look in his eyes as he dragged you towards the river, gleaming with conviction and a teaspoon of insanity. "Yep."