Trust issues are characterized by fear of betrayal, abandonment, or manipulation. Mackenna knows all these things. She had seen this kind of shit before and she would be damned if she go through this all over again.
If you get hurt that badly, you...
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We don't have to rush when you're alone with me.
-——
The night Mac was taking the fentanyl, i was looking for a distraction, 'cause this shit is the one thing that make you forget about our woes. That and drugs.
Luckily i had some Xanax at home. there wasn't much left, that's why i went to Fez - i needed more.
Anyways, in that moment i took what was there, but i still needed a distraction.
As i walked the dark streets of East Highland, i knew only one person could distractme.
Jules.
When Mac woke up, it took her a moment to realize where she was. The room was in semi-darkness, only the rising sun, which shone through the curtain, let her see the furniture around her. Realizing she wasn't in her room, she reflexively looked to the other side of the bed.
Nothing.
As if Mac needed reassurance that this side of the bed was really empty, she reached out and ran her fingertips over the soft fabric of the sheets.
Still nothing.
She carefully sat up and tried to remember what had happened the previous night. There was a deep frown on the girl's face as she pieced together fragments of a few images from her memory.
She actually took fentanyl.
Mac didn't regret it because she knew at what price she had done it. She'd rather go on a hell of a drug trip than allow something like this to happen to Rue.
To her surprise, there was no hellish drug trip. Yes, she was tired, way too relaxed to move, and had weird dreams, but otherwise she was fine. She felt good. Maybe the amount wasn't enough, or her body was already used to drugs, even though she'd never taken anything like fentanyl before.
Her eyes fell on the bedside table. Her telephone was there, with a glass of water next to it. She slid to the other side of the bed and reached for the glass to take a few sips before putting it back half full and picking up her phone.
The clock on her display told her it was twenty to five in the morning which meant she had slept for almost 12 hours. Despite this, she still felt a bit weak and tired.
Mac unlocked her phone to read the messages she'd received. In addition to the messages from Maddy and Kat, the message from her mother catched her eye. She opened the message with her thumb and drew her eyebrows together. There are messages she never wrote. Rue must have written tomy mom that i'm staying at Maddy's. Or maybe it was Fez?
