Trust issues are characterized by fear of betrayal, abandonment, or manipulation. Mackenna knows all these things. She had seen this kind of shit before and she would be damned if she go through this all over again.
If you get hurt that badly, you...
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"Me and my truth, we sit in silence Baby girl, it's just me and you"
--
Anger in itself is a really disgusting feeling, but the anger you feel while you are unable to satisfy your addiction is different. This kind of anger is like on another level.
At first you don't care about anything, you don't care what you say and which feelings you potentially hurt. It's like selfishness takes over your body.
Not the good egoism that makes you think about yourself instead of always making sure to do what would be good for others.
Nah, not that kind of egoism but uh... like the in - this - story - I - am - the - poet - You're - the - poetry - kind.
But then you realize what you've done.
That's the worst shit ever.
Realizing that I had treated the two people who prolly mean the most to me like trash made me feel like a very ugly monster.
I know it's fucked up and I also know that I went way over the top that evening, but it happened, so there was nothing I could do about it.
I mean, yeah... I could have apologized, but I had already caused the damage with my words that night anyway.
Bright moonlight shone through the small gaps in the blinds and enveloped the relatively small room in a calming atmosphere. Fezco could only imagine that the rest of the sky was sparkling with stars and even briefly considered putting on sweatpants over his red checkered lower east boxers to sit outside on the steps and smoke a joint.
He reached next to him, grabbed his phone from the bedside table and lit up the screen with a push of a button.
1:52 AM.
With a sigh, the phone fell onto the blanket as Fez turned to the sleeping person next to him. He, Mac and Ashtray finished watching the movie and then got ready for bed. Around 11 p.m. the two of them were under the covers and it didn't take long for the girl to fall asleep. Fez could understand that after what she just went through. The withdrawal took all of her Energy and to make matters worse, Rue had to pull such a bum trip.
The Ginger shook his head imperceptibly. What he could absolutely understand was that Rue was saying all this shit to him, after all, he was her pusher from the beginning and as far as he knew - and hoped - there was no dealer other than him in East Highland, but he couldn't understand that she was throwing statements like 'she's a whore' at Mac - her best friend since childhood.
