Trust issues are characterized by fear of betrayal, abandonment, or manipulation. Mackenna knows all these things. She had seen this kind of shit before and she would be damned if she go through this all over again.
If you get hurt that badly, you...
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Lately, you've been searching for a darker place to hide - That's alright But if you carry on abusing, you'll be robbed from us - I refuse to lose another friend to drugs
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There are bad days and then there are days when you run out of drugs to make said bad days better.
I thought my fucking day couldn't get any worse after I saw Fezco and my best friend - who I've been crushing on ever since our boobs grew, making out in front of school - a clear sign to me that there was more going on between them than just an insignificant one night stand. This was a fact that stung my heart, 'cause it was one thing to know and see that Mac would fuck anything with a dick between two legs, but it was something completely different to watch her seemingly fall in love.
This shit hurts like a bitch.
At that moment I doubted that I was actually over Mackenna, 'cause even though the days I spent with Jules were really good, like, really really good, I suddenly doubted my feelings for the blonde.
Did I like her? Abso-fucking-lutely. Was she a distraction for Mac? I don't fucking know.
Contrary to my expectations, my shitty day got even shittier when I found out that my old crush had given my new crush a black eye, but no one wanted to tell me the reason for it. After the short conversation - and from Mac's point of view, very hostile - conversation between the two, Jules remained silent on the subject and my best friend didn't respond to any messages from me either. Not fucking fair.
I knew that Mac had her amger management class for the first time that day; she had told me about it when we had spoken briefly on the phone the evening before. Little did I know that she was there at Fezco's, 'cause she didn't mention anything about it nor did we talk about where the damn class would take place.
Instead of wandering around school like a madman, I estimated how long her classes might last and drove to her house around late afternoon. I didn't care that Ophelia Donahue wouldn't be happy when I showed up at her perfect little Villa, cause I needed to know what had happened between Mac and Jules.
The disgusting feeling of fear that I would have to let go of Mac and that Jules wouldn't be interested in me either crept up inside me.
Unfortunately for me on this fucking beautiful day, only good old man Ferg opened the front door to tell me that I had missed Mac by half an hour. He told me that she was just there to pick up some clothes 'cause she was staying at Maddy's for a few days so she could work on a school project.
