Not wanted

Chapter 16

2 months later

it has been two months since the incident and am not talking to anyone not even my bestfriends. i feel sad,dirty, and worthless.My parents made me stay home for a week before i could go back to school to get my head back in place after what happened but it didn't help. once i got back to school all i was getting was stink faces from almost everyone they were all looking down at me like i was trash i had no idea what was going on till i heard a rumor that a naked picture of me was sent to every last one person that went to our school it was a picture of when i was tied up on the bed when i was kidnapped all in my naked glory . But of course no one knew of what really took place so they where quick to judge me. I had spent a month going to school with my head down so no one would look at me or notice me but sadly it didn't work. It didn't stop them from calling me all types of names and boys kept trying to get in my pants ,when i ignored them they were quick to say "you a hoe anyways so you might as well just let me fuck!" that happened for a month straight. Carl and Imany where nowhere to be found and the police where looking for them they are the ones that sent out that picture which made me angry as hell. Rochelle, Ariana,Darren and Hakeem saw i was getting more depressed than i was already with all the bullshit so they got on the table in the cafeteria and had a huge speech telling the whole crowd what happened to me no one beleived them though till Ariana pointed out Darren and Imany missing in action. my story was put on the news when carl and imany was found then people started to beleive now all i see these past few weeks are looks of sympathy a look that i despise i hate people feeling sorry for me and it only makes shit worse. i was Now walking down the hallway about to make my way to lunch i turned the corner and froze at the sight in front of me and i couldn't move, it was Darren kissing that girl that was trying to flirt with him in the gym that day. Tears threatening to fall but i quickly stop myself because he wasn't mines so he was allowed to kiss, Fuck , or be with anyone he wanted but i couldn't stop the pain in my heart.a feeling that i hated. why am i hurt? we wasn't in a relationship , he wasn't mines,and plus I've been pushing him away these pass months so i shouldn't be upset. i was still in my frozen state i tried to move but for some reason my feet wouldn't move he looked up and his eyes landed on me and an handful of emotions cross his eyes but one standed out the most regret but what would he regret? maybe he regretted meeting me -"cassie" he started but i wasn't out to hearing it and at this point i really dont care about any explanation he's about to give me. why would he need to explain anything to me anyways so with that i turned around and started making my way out the school i just lost my appetite. " nobady wants your trash ass anyways so you should be thanking me for even wanting you." those words popped into my head as i walk and i instantly beleived them i was trash and nobody wants me i was stupid to actually beleive a guy like Darren would actually want me I'm not worth it. who would want me? nobody! and i was stupid to beleive different. since i dont have a car and i didn't feel like going back to school i decided to take the bus home i heard Darren calling after me so i walked faster and did a way to loose him and i did .I sat at the bus stop waiting on the bus.20 minutes later i was on my way home i got off the bus and walked the rest of the way. once i got inside i made my to my room and started watching the last song that movie always makes me cry but i always feel better in the end even though its about love i like happy endings , i know ill never get one but its nice to know other people has gotten theirs. a couple of hours later someone barged into my room i didn't botter looking up thinking it was my brother but boyyy was i wrong!!. "cassie i am so sorry it's wasn't what it looked like" i rolled my eyes before looking at him "umh uhmmm" i humed looking straight at him blankly before going back to what i was doing on my phone "cassie can you please talk to me you been ignoring me for two months and its driving me crazy not hearing your beautiful voice"he begged but i didn't care i was on my i dont care phase. i felt him sitting on my bed "cassie??" "cassie?" i didn't respond "GOD DAMMIT CASSIE TALK TO ME" he yelled scaring the hell out of me i looked up at him and saw he was upset when he saw me looking at him with fear in my eyes hos face soften "sorry for yelling but cassie i just want you to talk to me" he said softly "what do you want me to say?" i cracked out my voice dry since i haven't talked in a while. "Tell me everything from since what happened to you from the beginning  to why you haven't been talking to anyone" he said i was shocked cause who would want to listen to all of that "why?" i asked Because i want to know everything about you beleive it or not but cassie i care about you a lot" he said grabbing my chin making me look at him "its a long story" i said trying to get out of it "we got time" he said before putting a soft kiss on my forehead that had me all tingly on the inside. i smiled and took a deep breath before starting "once upon a time i used to be friends with this girl name imany till her dad taught it was a good idea to rape me while his wife and daughter where in the house he hurt me and took what was most precious away from me. in the middle of him taking advantage of me i passed out and woke up in the hospital i had no idea how i got there till this day i still don't know. when my parents came i was scared to tell them what happened but with a little convincing i told them they where so angry and called the police after taking the test and everything they found out it was him who raped me . the day he was arressted i was there along with imany and her mom he was so angry i heard him tell her to make me pay but i paid no attention to it cause she was my bestfriend and nothing could of seperate us so i thought not to worry but once i saw the hatred in her eyes towards me i started second guessing about it. one day imany and her mom disappeared i cried that day cause i lost my bestfriend and it was all my fault. middle school year i started dating this boy Austin he was my first "love" i said using quotation mark one day he said he found someone else and he was breaking up with me and when i saw him with that girl i just made myself beleive he had his reasons two more boyfriends later they broke with me for the same reasons and for the same girl so i laid low for a while till sophmore year i met carl he was so sweet and caring and knew how to make me laugh i fell in love with him then next thing i know he broke up for the same damm reasons and you wont beleive it for the same Damm girl at first i didn't know till i looked at her carefully since i didn't see her in two years.you already know we had fought at the party but what i didn't know was who she was then i started hanging out with you i started to start having feelings for you but Didn't act on it because our friendship was going really good and i didn't think you'd like me back but then you beat carl for me and kissed me on that same day i was shocked and happy as hell but i didn't question it. then you told me you liked me in Gym that made me extra happy but i still didn't confess that i liked you because i was scared that it was just a dream and i didn't want it to end. during spring break i went to buy something and when i came back i heard noises when i was about to check it out my brother came home later on i found my room trash and a note was there i kinda figured who it was but he was suppose to be in jail so i ignored it two days later i was home by myself i wanted to hang with you but you weren't picking up your phone so i went to McDonald's i ate then started walking home but someone was following i strarted running and you know food and exercise dont match . next thing i know im in a room naked i didn't want to be scared but i was then carl hoe came in she explain the whole story and why she's doing this to me i came to realize she's imany and then carl came in he said he was going to help me out of there and my stupid self beleive him only for everything to black out once again" i told him everything else that happened after i didn't realize i was crying when i was done he pulled me into a hug " you know your not trash nor worthless, you are worth it and am sorry i didn't pick up the phone that day and i do like you a lot actually ,im sorry for making you think differently your worth fighting for and others must be dumb to think differently " he said softly looking me in the eyes "One thing that i don't understand is you told me you only had eyes for me but you were kissing the exact same girl you told me you didn't care for" i said not believing him "am not going to lie to you cause i really want to be with you the reason i didn't pick up that day is that she texted me on facebook and we started to talk she seemed cool so i invited her over to chill with me and chilling turned into something else im really sorry i didn't nean for it to happen and when your brother called me telling me your missing i was so angry at myself for putting my needs before yours and what you saw today wasn't what it look like she just came up to me and kissed me out of nowhere i tried to push her off she wouldn't let go that girl is strong! and when i saw you looking at me like that i regretted even touching her or even doing anything with her because you're the only one i want to do anything with im truly sorry cassie " he said still looking at me. "its okay" i said lowly that he probably didn't hear me i mean why not forgive him he wasn't mines even though he hurt me but i see that he was really truly sorry. his face lit up and next think i knew he was leaning in i copied his action and next thing i know is his soft lips are pressed against mines.