VIRAGO

desire

"It's the fucking truth John-boy, rich women these days all they want is working-class cock." Zoey and Micheal had shared an amused look, the two youngest had been trailing behind John and Arthur who were following Tommy and the others.  

"Maybe she was the something bad I had the feeling about..." Curly had waddled up to the front of the group, expressing his concerns to Tommy, as the man simply just continued in his tracks, not waiting for anyone. 

"Nah she looks all right to me, Curly." John had bellowed up to the front of the group, slowing his steps to fall in line with Micheal and Zoey, trying not to look at her too much. 

"All their men are dead, see? The officers all shot." Upon entering the horse ring, Zoey couldn't help but narrow her eyes down on 2 men dressed head to toe in gray, with thick mustaches and leather gloves. 

"Yeah by us," John cheered looking at Arthur. 

"She has good contacts in the racing world." Tommy defended, briefly sparing his brothers a glance. 

"Yeah, you're welcome for the introduction by the way," Zoey remarked sardonically, from beside Micheal as she slipped on her gloves. 

"Micheal you drive," He'd ignored her input once more, tossing the keys to Micheal. 

"Tommy Shelby?" The scene had unfolded in what felt like a second. 

Both men pulled out their weapons and unleashed gunfire. One was directed at Tommy the other at Zoey who'd been knocked to the ground with Micheal by John as he fired back at the men, taking a hit in the arm while Arthur was kicking the shit out of the other assassin. "Tommy Shelby? How about fucking Arthur?! Fucking good to meet you!" 

"Arthur! Fucking get him off him!" Tommy had ordered, scanning the high ground with his pistol. Curly and Charlie had raced to get attach Arthur from the assassin.  

"O my god, John!" Zoey whimpered slightly, her voice quivered much like the rest of her body as she scrambled to her feet and went to inspect his wound. "Tommy he's been hit!" It was evident she was shaken up, her fingers were trembling as they wrapped themselves around his forearm where he'd been hit- he winced at this making the younger women's heart almost pulsate in a panic. 

"John you alright?!" Tommy had called over to his brother after he'd successfully ripped Arthur off the Italian, but not before he had brutally torn his ear off with his teeth. 

"It's just a graze!" He reassured him, watching as Zoey dove into her purse pulled out her handkerchief, and began tying it over his arm. "you alright?" he'd lowered his voice so she'd be the only one to hear, placing his hand over her shaking hands that was struggling to finish the knot. His one hand was big enough to cover both her own as she looked up at him with nothing but worry and guilt plaguing her eyes. 

"I'm fine your the one that got shot." She muttered turning her focus back to his wound, the thought of him being in physical pain because of her made her sick. He was a father, he had a family, and he was putting his life on the line for who? For her, for someone who doesn't have family or kids, and for someone who probably never will.  

The car journey back was silent the whole way. Even after Zoey and John had dropped everyone off, the two still remained surrounded by dead air. Which was unusual, they often filled their car rides with pointless bickering and banter but now? Zoey stayed in shock, John was just confused. Completely baffled by her erratic behavior towards him. One minute she'd accusing him of hiding things, the next their kissing then she runs off without a word but when he gets hurt she looked as if she were going to cry.

"So are we gonna talk about what happened?" John voiced from beside her as soon as she'd turned the engine off. Seeing as he was injured, Zoey had taken the wheel after dropping off Micheal.  

"Do we have to?" Her eyes had met his reluctantly, she wasn't inclined to these situations. It was always her, with no feelings- because she had to in order to protect herself. But now, she'd suppressed that side of herself for so long, the slightest connection with anyone made her uncomfortable. 

"We don't." He admitted with a huff, "But I think I deserve to know how you feel seeing as I just almost took a bullet for you." 

She wanted to let it out. She wanted to unleash what she felt but something inside her kept telling her not to. It was an internal battle between nature and nurture. Would her survival instincts take control like they often did or would she for once be able to let her guard down? 

The last time she'd let herself fall mercy to her desire, she'd gotten Sam killed. And John? He'd just been shot because of her. She didn't want him to meet the same fate as her previous lover. She also didn't want him to turn out to be a monster like the others. At the end of the day, it all came down to her need for control, her need to know exactly how things would play out but that was impossible, no one can see into the future.  

"Well?" He'd cut off her train of thought with expecting eyes.  

She didn't have the words. She couldn't articulate her predicament, or perhaps she could but just didn't have the strength to open herself up like that. So instead she did the one thing she knew her body would allow because it was so intoxicating the last time. She leaned over to him, her lips hovering over his as they shared intimate eye contact once more. John's eyes were most certainly addicted to hers, as though he becomes entranced or hypnotized by their depth, luring him closer and closer to her. Brushing her fingers up to his jawline, she traced its sharp edge softly before pressing her lips against his. 

John had instantly accepted her kiss, deepening it, his good hand had traveled up from her waist and tangled itself into her silky golden streams of hair. He felt on top of the world when she was this close to him, perhaps even invincible as the searing pain in his arm had numbed with the adrenaline of having her in his grasp. 

"This a good enough answer for now?" she pulled away, breathless, her forehead resting against his own making the man smirk with success. 

"For now." That was all he managed before pulling her back in for more.