The Dance Inside (Kellic) (BoyxBoy)

18

I've been avoiding talking to Vic for a couple of days now. It was a bit tricky considering we lived in the same house, but as long as we weren't alone it was fine. He tried, but I wasn't ready to talk about what happened. I still felt so ridiculous after trying and being rejected by him. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and never get out of it.

 I felt miserable. I was afraid that Vic was going to end everything with me - that's all I was thinking about now. I wasn't ready for it to stop. I was so unhappy that I couldn't even enjoy today. It was after school and, I was at the lake with the others. They all got here early considering I had a school. I reluctantly climbed into the water, even taking off my T-shirt this time.

I didn't need my parents to ask why am I so nervous to take off my shirt in front of Vic. Still, it wasn't all that bad. Soon after I climbed into the water, the children, along with their parents, got out of there, deciding that it was getting quite late. I silently cursed them for leaving me, but I didn't go with them, because when they left, Vic looked at me, shaking his head, letting me know that he didn't want me to leave.

 Sooner or later I had to talk to him. Vic told my mom and dad that he needed my help with the treehouse. I couldn't believe they hadn't noticed anything yet. Of course, they still didn't have any reason to, but I was afraid they'd get suspicious because Vic and I spent a lot of time alone together. However, they just thought we became good friends. Dad once said that Vic replaces my brother, Billy. 

That suggestion made my stomach ache, and I quickly dismissed it. I watched everyone drive away in a car through the thickets that led back to the house. Soon the car was out of sight and I was left with Vic. I regretted not leaving with everyone, but a big part of me wanted to see what Vic was going to say. If I wasn't attractive to him, then I really just needed him to say it now.

"Okay, no parents, no kids. We can finally talk about that night," he said as he walked toward me in the water. I swam back a little, afraid of what this might lead to. 

"There is nothing to talk about," I said. 

"No, there is," he said. 

"Nope. I mean, nothing happened. Nothing worth talking about," I said a little rudely. I didn't mean to act like this but there was nothing he could do about it.

"You understand why I stopped, right?"  he asked. 

"I don't want to talk about it," I said and dived under the water. I held my breath for as long as I could. 

I hope he understands. I didn't want to talk about it because I was ashamed, but now is the moment to find out if he doesn't like me. I needed to clear things up. When I brushed my hair out of my face and opened my eyes, I saw that he was not at all impressed. 

"Was that too much for you?" he asked, continuing the conversation. 

"What?" I almost laughed. 

"Have I gone too far? Is that why you're acting like this?" He asked. 

"No! Too far? You couldn't get rid of me fast enough," I said. 

"What?" he sounded surprised. 

"I kind of jumped on you, and you... you just didn't want to, because, I don't know, I'm not attractive enough for you... or... whatever," I muttered. He sighed, and I even noticed a slight smile on his lips. Now was not the time to smile.

 "You are so cute," he said. 

"Cute?" I said disappointedly. I don't want to be cute! If I wasn't cute, then you might want to do these things with me. 

"I would do whatever you want with you if your parents weren't in the same house," he said. I stopped talking. I believe I heard him say that that night. I did not pay due attention to this, because then I was so humiliated. Perhaps I should have stopped and listened.

"That's the only reason I stopped it, Kellin. I didn't want any of us to get into trouble," he said

"Really?" I muttered, embarrassed. 

"Yes," he nodded.

"And... umm, do you find me attractive? I asked.

 "Very attractive," he said with a small smile. My heart fluttered. He said it. He thinks I'm attractive. I had no idea how someone as sexy as he could find me attractive. 

"Sorry. I'm so stupid." I said. 

"You're not stupid. It's just that you've never had these things before," he said. I looked down, looking away from him. This is exactly what I needed - another reminder of how young I am.

 "And that's okay," he added, "even people older than you can be insecure." I sighed and moved a little closer to him. I wanted to hug him or do something else for being so lovely, but the risk of someone coming back from behind the trees was too high. 

"Thank you. You don't have to put up with my stupidity." I said. He smiled and shrugged. 

"I guess the peacefulness and pristineness of this place have made me so calm and perfect," he said. I laughed and splashed him. He took my hand, stopping me from doing it again, and pulled me closer to him. I saw a flash in his eyes that made him rethink what he was going to do next. So he just let me go.

"Let's go to the tree house. I want to kiss you," he said bluntly. My cheeks flushed. All I could do was mutter "okay" before climbing out of the water with him following close behind me. I climbed in first, knowing full well that my wet shorts were all over my body, and he was watching. And again my cheeks lit up. 

"By the way, I'm tired of seeing you constantly unhappy," he said. 

"I was not unhappy," I said, climbing into the house. 

"Was,"  he said. 

"No," I shook my head. I turned to him just as he got to the top. 

"He was," he argued. He grinned mischievously as he approached me. 

"He wasn't," I muttered. 

"He was," he said, and before I could argue, he kissed me. Instead of putting me on my back, he pulled me onto him, falling to the wooden floor himself. Like that night, I sat on it. I liked it better when it was different, but I had nothing against this option either. 

"You know," I said, pulling away, "we are alone now. He smiled softly but shook his head. 

"Not now-."

" -Why not? I asked. He put his hands on my hips and drew small circles on my bare skin with his thumbs. I suppressed a smile. I knew he was doing this to comfort me. Now that I think about it, I understand that he did a lot of these little things to calm me down. Was I really that nervous?

"You are too deep in your thoughts. You will think too much and be nervous. Let everything happen naturally, unplanned, and not after you haven't spoken to me for three days. These things have to happen on a whim," he said. 

"So you want to?" I asked, just to be sure. 

"Yes," he laughed, rolling his eyes. 

"I did my best to stop that night. 

"Okay, okay," I agreed with a smile.

 "Do you want this too?" he asked. 

"I thought it was pretty obvious," I said. 

"I know, but I don't want you to do it for the wrong reasons," he said. 

"For what wrong reasons? I asked. 

"For example, trying to look like an adult," he suggested. 

"I didn't try," I defended myself. 

"Okay... Then we'll have sex tomorrow," he said. 

"What?!" I shouted. My heart was beating like crazy. I didn't mean it. I meant other things. Of course, I didn't have to explain this to him. He laughed, and when I realized that he was just mocking me, I swear I was ready to hit him. 

"That's not funny," I said. He sat down and hugged me. 

"Pretty funny," he shrugged.

" Nope." I pouted. His nose touched mine, and then so did his lips. I closed my eyes, melting into him a little so close. 

"Uh-huh," he muttered. He kissed me and that was all we did for the rest of the day.