Desires Be Damned • Aemond Targaryen

Chapter Twenty-Three

Dyaena

Dyaena had felt badly for summoning Gretta and other servants at such an early hour to fetch her a bath, but they claimed they had already been awake in order to prepare for the day and that her request had been no trouble at all. When the other two servants had finished filling the tub and left, Gretta wasted no time playfully scolding her while helping her out of the shift she had changed into upon her returning to her chambers--had the servants seen her in the same dress she had worn to dinner, disheveled and partially undone, questions of either her virtue, sanity, or sobriety certainly would have been raised.

"You have a nose for trouble, my lady," Gretta sighed as she helped Dyaena slip into the metal tub after she explained what had happened with Aemond in the most polite way possible, though no matter how hard she tried, bashful giggles still erupted from them both as she recollected. Sliding down so that she was submerged to the base of her neck, the encapsulating warmth sprang a grateful sigh from her lungs as she closed her eyes and her muscles relaxed, the soreness of her inner thighs already fading as was the high from the night's thrills, giving way to a question she was not sure she was prepared to receive an honest answer for.

"Speak freely, Gretta, and speak true; do you think what I am doing is foolish?"

After a few seconds of silence, Dyaena opened her eyelids halfway to see her lady-in-waiting pondering as she sat nearby fidgeting with the bonnet wrapped over her brown hair. "Are you referring to the sneaking about during the night? Or the putting your trust in a man you know only the half of?"

"...Both."

"I think," she began slowly, "that you make a habit of letting your heart guide you. And while some may see it as foolish at times, I think it is brave." Gretta offered her a smile, but the traces of concern in her eyes were not lost on Dyaena. "I will leave you to bathe now, Princess. Ring the bell once you have finished to summon me." And with that, she rose, politely curtsied, and walked out of her chambers, leaving behind a peaceful silence that fell over Dyaena like a gossamer blanket as she sank further down into the water until its surface grazed the underside of her nose. It was then that time began to slip away from her as her thoughts whisked her down a spiraling path into certain recesses of her mind she had hoped were just senseless paranoia. Though she had asked for the truth, she was sure Gretta didn't wish to offend her and decided to keep her answer vague on purpose.

She wished what she had seen in her eyes didn't trouble her as much as it did.

Her lady-in-waiting had only began serving her when they had returned to Dragonstone six years ago, so Gretta had never known the timid sweet boy, only the cold man that was the aftermath of long-festering anger and resentment, so perhaps Gretta's silent reservations about her decisions to risk everything for him were not unfounded. And perhaps her ignorance of who he once was granted her a certain unbiased clarity to who he is now that Dyaena never had. Ignoring the possibility that her memories and long-harbored feelings clouded her sight like a fog laying heavy over a sea would be damfool, but was it so thick that it made it near impossible to see the truth right in front of her, a truth that could very well strike a fatal blow before she had the chance to change course, causing her to sink and drown in the consequences?

Was her granting him another chance another severe misstep? Was agreeing to marry the man that had taken her maidenhead truly the best decision for her when he could very well break the promises he made should his own emotions overpower him again? Last night proved she was still just as susceptible to letting her feelings take control of her as his had, so perhaps it would do her well to heed her own council and set her desires aside for a time. Until she could be certain she wasn't making a mistake by remaining betrothed to Aemond, she would force herself to disperse the fog and see reality for what it was.