Twentynine • Sun

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It's been two weeks, six days, and eight hours since Thorn has returned to us and and yet, I still haven't worked up the courage to even touch or even face her

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It's been two weeks, six days, and eight hours since Thorn has returned to us and and yet, I still haven't worked up the courage to even touch or even face her.

I've been stonewalling.

Keeping her at a comfortable distant and all because I'm basically a fucking coward.

If is such a small word but it can make a hell of a difference in someone's life.

If I didn't go to Sins bar that night and meet up with that Bitch Shari, Thorn would have never been in a damn coma in the first damn place.

If I would have faced up to my own damn inner demons and challenged them all head on instead of letting my own stupidity get the best of me then Shari would have never even been in our damn lives.

And the biggest if of them all.

If I just kicked Nina out of our house in the first damn place when she came to us whining and not foolishly believe her lies, then none of this shit with Thorn and us would have ever happened.

If only.

If. If. If.

Lately, I have sequestered myself into my own damn bedroom again, like the fucking coward that I am, because I can't seem to look Thorn in the eyes any longer. My guilt is slowly eating away at me.

The day she woke back up I staggered  out of my room happy as fuck and ran to her room.

As soon as I entered her room I stopped dead in my fucking tracks at the doorway just staring over at her.

I couldn't fucking breath.

It's like all of it hit me at once, just seeing her laying there peering over at me with so much regret captured on her face.

My body stood there frozen like an idiot.

I couldn't talk to her, I opened my mouth to try but unfortunately I just fucking couldn't.

What was I suppose to say?

Forgive me Thorn for being the guilty party who put you into a fucking coma? Who almost killed you and our pup?

I couldn't utter a single damn word to her.

Slay came running in behind me pushing me right out of his way just to get to her.

I watched them as they both embraced lovingly.

Sin came running in soon after Slay doing the exact same thing as him.

I just stood there immobilized by my own damn fear.

No longer being able to face her I just turned away from them all swiftly. Releasing a troubling breath I stomped my way back to my room slamming and locking my bedroom door behind me and that was fucking that.

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