Skam Shorts

9 - sobbe

In which Robbe remembers

TW: Mentions and talks of thoughts/attempted suicide, panic/anxiety attack, breakdowns

•.

The group of friends all laughed loudly as they walked huddled tightly together.

It was Saturday and a large group, consisting of Zoe, Senne, Mika, Moyo, Aaron, Jen's, Sander and Robbe, all decided to go out and have some fun.

They just exited the arcade, which is a pretty known well spot for teenagers, walking and clutching their jackets closer to each other to find some warmth in the dark chili air.

Sander had his arm looped around Robbe, hanging around his waist as he used that hand to stuff it into Robbes pocket and hold onto his hand tightly.

Their was something familiar with the path that they were walking through, but Robbe couldn't put a finger on it.

Hearing the rushing of water and turning his head to the side, he paused in his tracks as he seen the ledge he was so close to jumping off of all those months ago.

It was a low point of his life where he lost not only his best friends and roommates, but also his lover.

He remembers walking into the party and arguing with Noor, he remembers looking behind her and seeing Sander making out with Britt.

He remembers storming out after a fight with the boys.

He remembers stumbling over to the ledge and climbing onto it, his feet halfway dangling off, so close to the water below.

And he remembers coming to his senses and nearly throwing himself back once he realized what he was about to do.

He knows after that he sat on the ground bawling his eyes out as he clutched onto the ledge for support. He then got up and left to go get alcohol before he did something stupid that he wouldn't have time to regret.

"Robbe!"

"What?" Robbe replied almost instantly, blinking as he turns his head and sees everyone's eyes on him.

"Dude you blanked out.. You alright?" Aaron said as he looked cautiously at him. Robbe could feel Sanders fingers rubbing his hand in a soothing motion, turning his head to him before avoiding eye contact and turning back to Aaron.

"Yeah- um... can we just go?" He said staring down at his shoes as he felt his chest rise and fall more irregular with each second their eyes burned into his head.

"..."

"Cmon guys" Moyo said, breaking the awkward silence that came over the group.

As they started to walk and talk once again, Robbe caught Jens eyes as he lifted his eyebrows and gave him a questioning look. Robbe just shook his head and held on to Sanders hand a little tighter, not knowing that Sanders eyes never left him.

•.

Jens didn't know, Aaron didn't know, Moyo didn't know, and neither did Sander. They had no clue on what happened that night. No clue on what he was about to do.

And Robbe was planning to keep it that way.

He took off his coat and hung it up as he felt a vibration in his pocket. Sander was currently in their shared kitchen blasting Under Pressure and sang to it rather loudly as he made some food for them.

Taking out his phone and sitting on the edge of the bed, he wasn't surprised to see a text from Jen's

"Did something happen? You looked like you were about to faint" the text read.