Skam Shorts

10 - elu

I'm which Eliott couldn't help but relapse

TW: mentions of blood, sh and dark thoughts

•.

Eliott sighed to himself as he laid on the bed

He was currently going through a depressive episode and everything just felt like absolute shit.

Lucas was currently at school

Whenever Eliott would have a episode, Lucas would inform the principal, which the principle informs his teachers and gives Lucas the work he missed out on along with some extensions.

This helped Eliott a lot seeing as he would be behind on work, but with support from both his teachers and Lucas, it made thinks so much easier.

The teachers would also email him a mini lesson of the day so he wasn't to far behind.

Eliott felt a wave a disgust wash threw him. He was disgusted with himself, he hasn't took a shower in a couple days, the last time he brushed his teeth was either yesterday or the day before that and he doesn't remember when he last changed his clothes.

But it wasn't only that

Eliott felt disgust inside of him to. It was a gnawing feeling that would've leave him alone, infact it has been getting worse over these past couple days.

He was angry at himself for pushing Lucas away when he would try and bring him food or motivate him in getting up and completing some work.

He was just overall disgusted and angry in himself

Eliott felt like throwing up. The overwhelming sensation was just to much for him. He needed to get up and just do something to distract him from it.

Surprisingly, he finally managed to get out of bed, he took a long needed shower and scrubbed until he felt clean, he brushed his teeth twice, and went back to the room to put his dirty clothes in the hamper and change into something new.

He put on one of Lucas' sweaters even though it was a bit tight on him due to their height difference. Feeling uncomfortable, he rolled up the sleeves to his elbows so it wasn't suffocating his arms.

Heading to the kitchen he took out supplies to make himself a sandwich.

Taking the knife out of the draw, he went to spread some butter on the bread when dark thoughts started to consume him.

They were puddling in his mind, bouncing off his brain and overwhelming him.

He can feel his breathing pick up and he couldn't tear his eyes away from the knife in his hand.

It'll be quick

He'll feel better after

It won't hurt as bad

It'll give him a distraction

He won't feel so disgusted and vile towards himself

Without thinking, he brung the knife up to his wrist and made a quick slice. It wasn't to deep but it wasn't really shallow either.

Almost immediately blood starting pouring out of his wrist.

Eliott stood frozen, standing over the kitchen sink with blood running down his arm with a bloody knife in hand.

Holy fucking shit

Watching as the blood poured into the sink at a fast pace, he quickly dropped the knife and grabbed a rag and pressed it tightly on the cut.

He felt tears well up in his eyes. Fuck he really didn't mean to. It sorta just happened! He wasn't thinking properly!

Fuck what was Lucas gonna say?