Hot Starry Nights

2:3 ~ Nathaniel

  How am I supposed to tell him? He seems so broken over it. Nothing happened. After he was on top of me, he just rolled off and started singing. He was completely out of it. Nothing happened or ever will happen because I'm not gay. And neither is he. 

  "So what happened? Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to. It won't happen again, and I really didn't mean it. I'm so sorry, I just-"

  "Ward, you're rambling. Nothing happened. After everything I've already told you, you just rolled off of me and started singing. You were out of it. Seriously."

  "I'm so sorry, I don't deserve your forgiveness, I just- wait what?"

  "It's fine. Honestly."

  "I thought it was gonna be way worse than that."

  "Why, Ward? Do you want to? Cause that's kinda hot."

  "What?! No, I just-"

  "You just what, Ward?"

  "I just- you made it seem a lot worse than it was!"

  "Ok, ok. You're fine, and it was just a joke." He looks so cute all flustered like that.

  "Well, ok. If it happens again, make sure to push me off, or set some boundaries."

  "You think it will happen again. Why is that Ward?"

  "Wait! That's not what I meant. No, I just- I- I don't want to hurt you. Ever."

  "You could never hurt a fly, Ward. Just, stop. You've apologized enough, I promise. You'll never hurt me." I walk up and hug him, he looks like he's about to cry. We stand there for a few minutes before he finally hugs me back. "You'll never hurt me, I swear on it." He nods and puts his head on my shoulder. 

  "So, do you forgive me?"

  "Yes, dumbass. Would you like me to say it again?"

  "Um. Yeah . . .. Yes."

  "I forgive you."

  "Thank you."

  "You're welcome." I let go of him and jump over the couch to lay on Ward. "So what are we watching?"

  He lays down and I lay on top of him. "Whatever you want, I guess."

  I select something random and fall asleep on top of him with my arms around his chest.

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  I wake up and Ward's on top of me. He's shaking my shoulders and my face feels wet. My blanket's on the floor. I know I just had a nightmare, but I can't remember what it was about. He gets off of me and goes to get me some water. I remember it had something to do with my Dad. Fuck. He won't even leave me alone in my dreams. 

  He gives me the water and pulls me into his arms for a hug. It's warm, and it's peaceful. I drink the water he brought and lay back down, but then Ward picks me up. He pulls me into his arms and I curl into him with my head on his shoulder. He lays me in his bed and sits on the other end with his legs crossed and his head in his hands. When he starts to fall asleep, I slowly sit up, waiting. When he falls over, I catch his head with my hand before he hits the headboard. I lay his head down and get some more water. I can't sleep right now with all of these images in my head. It's only 3:48 anyway. I'll just stay up and try to get more sleep tonight.

  About an hour later, I pause my movie and go to check on Ward. He's sitting up with tears streaming down his face. He seems like he's in shock. His expression is blank, maybe a little mournful. I sit with him and he hugs me. He never tells me what his dream was bout. He just hugs me, crying silently. He pulls me into his lap and sets his head in the crook of my neck. He tugs on my hair, crying silently. 

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  I wake up and Ward's behind me, with his arms around my torso. His alarm is going off, telling him to wake up. It's Tuesday, so there's only three more days of school until summer break. He turns it off and turns over, pulling me with him at the same pace.

  "No. We need to go to school. Get your dumbass up and let go of me."

  "No. I am . . . sleep."

  "You are . . . daft."

  "Fine." He lets go of me and I roll off the bed onto the ground. I pull him off the bed and we get ready for school.

  The walk to school is silent. We're too tired to say anything. Between waking up in the night and watching over each other, I'm not surprised, nor do I blame him. I don't think I deserve it, and he's losing too much sleep over it. That's not something to talk about right now though.

  We walk in and Ember sees us immediately. She pulls Ward down the hall into a broom closet and leaves me alone. Why the fuck does she need to talk to him all the time? Are they dating? Why wouldn't he tell me? Why do I care so much? It's not my business whoever Ward dates. It wouldn't hurt to ask though. Right?