Hot Starry Nights

3:1 ~ Howard

  I wake up to Nat shifting in his sleep. His back is now towards me and his arms are no longer around my torso. I pull him closer and hug his waist. I can hear him breathing slowly and his heart beating, keeping the blood flowing in his body.

  I don't ever want to leave this moment.

  Why did I have to fall for a straight guy? And why, of all people, did it have to be Nat? My best friend since Kindergarten. The beautiful, fallen angel. Nat always seems to be hurting, one way or another. Why is everything always trying to hurt him? He does not. Deserve it.

  "Ward, you're squeezing me." My face heats up and I loosen my arms.

  "Shit- sorry Nat."

  "It's fine."

  We lay in silence for several minutes as the birds sing and the time ticks away and the wind makes tree branches scratch windows.

  How could I fall for you?

  . . .

  How could I not fall for you?

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  When I wake up, Nat isn't there, but I can hear the shower water running down the drain. He must be in the shower. I push myself off the bed and head to the living room. It's pretty hot in here. I need to open the windows more often. Monster first. I'm struggling to keep my eyes open. Also water, because hydration. I have a slight headache too. I should make breakfast. What do I even eat though? Never mind. I'll just make cereal, I don't have the brain capacity to do anything else right now.

  I hear the shower turn off, and a few minutes later, Nat steps out of the bathroom. His hair is super messy, and he's wearing shorts and a hoodie. He leans back so he's against the arm of the couch while sitting in my lap. I finish off my cereal, trying my best to ignore him and pretend everything is normal.

  He shifts so that he's facing me, still on my lap, and just . . . stares. My blush starts growing warmer by the second. He's about to say something when my phone starts ringing. Thank god. It's Ember.

  "Hey."

  "Hey Howard."

  "Wanna facetime?"

  "Sure." Nat frowns. He scoots forward and hugs me, resting his head on my chest. I rest my chin on the back of his head as I answer Ember's call.

  "Hey! Oh- hi to you too, Nathan." He mumbles some not very nice words. I don't think she heard him.

  "So why did you call?"

  "Well, I wanted to hang out. But then my mom asked if you wanted to come over soon? You can bring Nathan, if you want."

  "Sure. Will your partners be there?" Her face flushes.

  "Um, partners in crime. And yes. They're here right now." She tilts the phone screen down and I see Raiden laying in her lap. She tilts it to the side and James and Isla are leaning on each other. I'm about to mention it, but then remember I'm doing the same thing.

  "So when are we coming over?"

  "Tomorrow. Oh shit- I have to take this." She hangs up now. Nat hugs me tighter, and I rest my forehead on his shoulder.

  "So, you wanna bake a cake?"

  "No. Cuddles. Now."

  "But my cake!"

  "It can wait."

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  I wake up on the floor. Kitchen floor. Damn sleepwalking. Where's Nat? What time is it? It's already dark out. I try to sit up, but then I notice Nat's head on my torso. My phone says it's 10:43. I slide my hand under his head and move, setting him back down. I can't move him without him waking up, I don't think. I walk out on the back deck outside and sit on the edge, swinging my legs in the open air. 

  The back door swings open and I hear footsteps behind me. Nat grabs my hand and pulls me down on the ground with him. We walk through the woods on the path to the clearing, gaining scratches on our legs from bushes and branches. So that's were the scratches on his legs came from. 

  He leads me up the tree into the wooden platform. We lay in silence, watching the stars and the fireflies. I flip over and hug him around the torso, and he turns so his back is against my chest. Our legs tangle together and within seconds, I feel his breathing slow.

  He's so fucking pretty. Of course it was him. My best friend. I fell for my best friend, just like all the damn movies. Except I'm gay. And he's straight. What the actual fuck is wrong with me?