Hot Starry Nights

4:4 ~ Howard

  He crawls out of my lap, turning around so he can face me, and starts pulling his hoodie over his head. He's wearing a white tank top underneath, but the first thing that grabs my attention are the bandages on his upper arm. And then the scars on his arms, old and fading. I reach out to touch his arms, tracing scars. He shivers, pulling my hands to the bandages with a slightly pink face. I unwrap them and they slide off of his arm, revealing two half-healed cuts, creating an X.

  "I have more, but they're on my thighs, and they're kind of high up." He traces them and pulls the bottom of his shorts up a bit so I can see the bandages. 

  "How many? Are they deep?"

  "They're pretty deep, and there's twelve of them." He looks back up at me, still tracing the new ones. "You already know about the abuse and everything, but you don't know why." He looks back down. "I came out to them as bisexual a few days before the first time I was beat. I believe that was why. I was already the black sheep of the family. Other than my mother, I was the only one abused. Everyone just got used to it. My mother was the one who would clean my wounds. It got worse when my mother left." He takes a deep breath, studying his voice. "I have five siblings. I am the youngest. Elizabeth raped me. She is currently 22, six years older than me."

  "So, last night wasn't a dream?"

  "No. You were drunk. This is one of the reasons we're having this conversation, actually." He says this shakily as tears prick his eyes.

  "I'm sorry you went through all of that. I wish I had noticed something sooner. I could've helped years ago, maybe none of this of this would've happened. I know it doesn't mean much, but I am truly sorry."

  "It helps more than you think. And it's not your fault, I just got better at hiding things from you."

  "No more secrets, okay?"

  "Okay." I lay down next to Nat and pull him down with me. He curls up slightly, and I pull him towards me. Once I know he's asleep, I kiss his forehead.

  ○○○○○○○○○○○

  Nat stirs from his sleep, waking me up in the process.

  "We should get up now, Blake's probably wondering where we went." He sits up, rubbing his eyes, and goes in a slight panic when he realizes he's not wearing a hoodie. I hand him the one he was wearing and I see recognition in his eyes as he remembers why we're out here in the first place. He puts it on and climbs down the tree, with me right behind him.

  Once we're in the house, I see Blake sitting on the kitchen counter, now wearing a red t-shirt and black and white checkered bell-bottom leggings. She immediately perks up when she sees us, sliding off the counter and hugging us both.

  "So did y'all make up? Everything is solved? Can the readers stop holding their breath yet?"

  "What?"

  "Are you dating now?"

  "Not yet." I look over at Nat, extremely confused and slightly red, to see him bust out laughing.

  "Wait, so that was a joke?" He doesn't answer and runs outside into the woods, still laughing slightly. 

  "Why are you still standing here? Chase him down!" I run after him, back into the woods. I hear Blake behind me, and I slow down to catch my breath.

  "Blake, how are-" I take a deep breath, "how are you not dying?"

  "I'm a very active person. And again, I go on a lot of hikes. Nat has more muscle than you, but you're both pretty skinny. We should go on some hikes together."

  "Blake, beautiful sister of mine, I love you, but now is not the time to invite me on a hike." 

  "I love your gay panics, they're so funny."

  "GO BACK TO THE HOUSE!"

  "Okay, I'm going!" She walks back to the house, snickering for as few moments. I'm passing the treehouse when a small stick hits the back of my head. I climb up the treehouse, but he's not there. I'm looking around when another hits me from behind. I finally see him in the tree branches.

  I crawl towards him on the branch and he backs up with a small grin o his face. The branch gets thinner and thinner and just as I think he's gonna fall, he jumps, grabbing onto another one. I try to jump after him, and just barely make it, with him taunting me all the way. I keep chasing him in the tree, climbing higher and higher until we can't go up anymore.  I jump after him again, but miss. I shield my head, ready for the fall, but Nat catches me and pulls me up slowly. I cling onto him, afraid of falling again. He hugs me and pulls back so that our faces are only inches apart.

  "We should probably go back down soon."

  "What did you mean by, 'not yet'?"

  "I was making a joke. We should really go back-"

  "Do you want it to be a joke?" His eyes hold fear, but they also hold hope and excitement.

  "I . . . I don't know."