(20) The Troll

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Cartman laid on his bed as he swiped through his phone. It was the weekend and he had absolutely nothing to do. His mom was out grocery shopping, his friends were 'busy' so they couldn't entertain him.

He groaned in frustration. Cartman was mad that he was going to waste his weekend doing nothing.

That's when Cartman remembered Butters' phone that he got for a memoir of Butters from his parents, which was surprisingly easy acquire. All he had to do was make some excuses, like 'Oh he was my best friend, may I have his phone as a memorial for him?'

Shit like that.

He reached over to his bedside table and opened the drawer, taking out Butters' phone. Cartman unlocked it in a matter of seconds, somehow knowing his passcode. He pressed on the messages app, a few contacts popping up. People like mom, dad, Bradley, charlotte, including himself were there.

Cartman swiped through to check if specifically a contact named 'Kenny' was there. He grinned when he found out there wasn't. Cartman took out his own phone, inputting Kenny's number onto Butters' phone.


???: hello
Hi
Hey
Hewo❓❔❓❔ 🥺👉👈

It didn't take Kenny long to answer.

Kenny: hello? Who is this

???: who I am is not important
does butters ring a bell?

The text clearly surprised Kenny who had a moment to process what this mysterious person, or Cartman had just sent.

Kenny: u know him?
wait r u butters?

???: no I am not butter
But I do know he was the boy who jumped off that old building months ago

Kenny: doesn't everyone?

Although they were texting each other, Cartman could sense the passive aggressiveness from Kenny's message.

???: and I know u were probably the most.. how do I say it? Traumatized? Depressed?
You were probably the most saddest when he died

Kenny: yeah? so what?
did u just text me just to remind me of him?
Just so u could see me suffer?

???: ofc not

Kenny: then wth do u want

???: what if I told you
butters is actually alive

Kenny: what

???: butters is alive
he faked his death

Kenny: now ur just playing with my feelings
I'm going to block ur number

???: oh well
I guess u don't want to see him again
the only person who actually loved u back
and u don't even want to see him?

This message made Kenny hesitate. He took his time on deciding, and finally came to a decision.

Kenny: fine

???: that's the spirit

Kenny: tell me where he is

???: Woah woah woah
hold ur horses
Did u rlly think I would just tell u without you giving me anything in exchange?

Kenny: fuck you

???: I'll make my first request easy
I'm not going to ask for nudes of you or anything

Kenny: like hell I would send any to u

???: kk
send me $40

Kenny: hell no

???: how about $35?

- Love, Butters.Where stories live. Discover now