- Love, Butters.

(22) Suspicious Stanley

I'm way too stupid for this shit.

I want to you to debunk/prove a theory of mine
I suspect that somebody you know cuts themselves as a punishment

How the hell am I supposed to find out who cuts? Definitely not by saying "CAN EVERYONE TAKE OFF THEIR CLOTHES SO I CAN SEE WHO CUTS AND TAKE A PICTURE??"

I know I could just wait.. But the more quicker the better, right? Also, the anonymous person didn't necessarily say that I needed to provide a picture, so maybe I could gather some audio proof instead?

I should ask my 3 main buddies first. They wouldn't mind me asking, right?

I go onto the voice recording app and press record. I slipped my phone into my pocket. "Guys, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"This might seem weird but could you roll up your sleeves for me?"

The first thing I notice that Kyle and Stan hesitated while Cartman did it almost immediately.

"Is this for that weird anonymous dude?" Kyle asked questioningly. I nod.

He sighs, rolling up his sleeves a few seconds after my response. Cartman and Kyle were clean. I looked at Stan, who hadn't revealed his arms yet.

I wasn't going to force him to pull his sleeves up of course. But he was suspicious for not doing so.

"I think I heard Wendy call me." Stan stammered as he sprinted away from us. Kyle had a hurt look on his face as he watched him leave.

On Stan's way out, he bumped into Marjorine. I could hear him say sorry to her before running away from us again.

"What's with Stan?" Marjorine inquired as she walked over to us.

Cartman snickered, "Oh nothing, he just pussied out on something that's all." Kyle glared daggers at him.

I glance at Marjorine, who was wearing short sleeves today. Her wrists didn't look like it had any signs of cutting or anything. I mean, of course she wouldn't cut. Marjorine doesn't seem like that kind of person anyway.

"Are you wearing makeup today Marjorine?"

"Gee whiz, I didn't think anyone would notice! My m-mom finally decided to buy me some makeup and I'm super excited to try it out for the first time."

Marjorine seemingly had glossed up lips and mascara, maybe some blush too. Damn, she looked even more cuter than usual.

Kyle chuckled awkwardly, he wasn't used to hearing a word like "Gee whiz". "Yeah, your scar was covered up so.." Kyle looked like he was deep into thought until he made a "aha!" look. "If you don't mind me asking, how did you get your scar in the first place?"

Marjorine looked shaken by the question. I could hear Cartman gasp dramatically behind me.

"The scar? I.. Uh... got it from a cat fight! One of the gals found something sharp and thought I was involved in the fight. Then she stabbed me in the eye."

I made a wincing sound. Ouch, I feel bad for her.

"So that's why you have a prosthetic eye huh?" Marjorine nodded.