𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 | 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝟏𝟕𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬

[13] - Stairway of Secrets

^Calista Russo from District Two.

~ ~ ~

Luna Brimstone, with a score of four.

Four. Out of twelve, I got four. Damien got a ten, Clay earned an eight, and Sienna ended up with a five. And I got a four.

All I can do is stare at the ceiling of my room. Streetcars honk their horns in the distant Capitol streets, but the District Five suite is silent. The others must have gone to bed.

I feel like such a monumental failure. Yes, I know that Damien and I never really had a chance to survive the Games in the first place. Still, this feels like such a crushing blow. How could anyone take me seriously with a score like that? How could they take Damien seriously if he's allying with me?

I'm starting to feel like I was wrong this whole time. I let my ego get in the way; Damien doesn't need me to keep him in check, and I'm just dragging him down. He would be better off just going into the Arena without me. Then it hits me - I have no other option. I could've saved Damien by sticking with Colby and Casper, and I just burned that bridge. How could I have been so stupid to let my own jealousy of Sienna and Colby get in the way of my own brother's survival?

I want to cry, but the tears don't come. The world shrinks around me, squeezing tighter and tighter...

I need to escape; I tumble out of my bed, scrambling to open the door and shutting it tightly behind me.

I sigh a bit. I should go up to the roof to see if Sienna's up there. She's always been able to cheer me up.

I slowly crawl up the stairs, hearing the sound of my footsteps echoing down the empty concrete chamber.

As I pass the twelfth floor, a girl's voice drifts down the stairwell. "I'm not being dramatic, listen!"

Is that Sienna? I reach the top of the steps, moving to push the door to the roof open.

"Calista, you sound crazy," one of the girls, and my heart drops at the sound of the Career's name. I freeze, pressing my ear to the door.

"Amanda, stop it," Calista says, clearly frustrated. "It's gone too far now. I see how you look at Midas. Everyone else probably has too, it's so obvious. Do you remember what Camilla told us about the Games?"

"Camilla doesn't know what she's talking about," Amanda says dismissively.

"She won the Games last year, Amanda," Calista insists. "She told us this was going to happen, and we didn't listen. Remember that only one of us is going to survive this. If we were attacked in the Arena, would you try and save me, or would you save Midas? Would you save him and let me die just because he'll be better at protecting you?"

"Obviously not," Amanda says hotly. "Listen, I can win the Games and still make friends along the way, okay? Midas has treated me right so far, and I know he'll do that in the Arena. He's a gentleman, Calista. And I know he'll treat you right, too. Obviously, Camilla's done this before, but she's not just our mentor, Calista. She's our sister and she's trying to look out for us like she always does. I don't need her to protect me this time."

"Well, we'll need her in the Arena," Calista sighs. "Anyway, I tried. But if Midas stabs us in the back, remember that I warned you."

I stumble away from the door. I know that I've just heard something I shouldn't have. Why can't I just do something right for once and stay out of trouble? I quickly begin climbing down the stairs - I think the girls are about to head down from the roof, and I would hate to be in their way when they do.

The girls' conversation shocks me, especially because it seems like they're in a similar situation to mine. Everything that Calista said summarizes exactly how I feel about Sienna and Colby's relationship. Part of me is happy, though - no matter how perfect the girls from Two try and make themselves seem, now I know that they have one flaw, and that's better than nothing.

I count the floors as I pass them in the stairs - twelve, eleven, ten. I can't help myself as I stop outside the ninth floor. If Sienna isn't out on the roof, could she be in here? Has she opted to stay the night with Colby, or has Casper convinced Colby to let her go?

I shake my head. I'm such a loser to be out here so late wondering where Sienna is. She clearly isn't doing the same for me; I need to get some sleep.

As I pass the seventh floor, I try not to think about Sienna. Whatever happens will happen, whatever happens will-

I'm almost flattened as the door to the seventh floor slams open, narrowly missing me as it hits the wall behind it.

"Well, I told her- oh, look who it is!"

I'm overwhelmed by a flash of bright colors before I realize who I'm looking at - it's Laurentia. She's walking with another brightly dressed woman.

I wince as Laurentia grabs my arm. "Serena, this is Luna," Laurentia beams, gesturing to me. "Luna, this is Serena Li, the Capitol Escort for District Seven."

"Pleasure to meet you," Serena says with a smile. I can't help but notice her outfit, which is made of a shiny yellow plastic that leaves little to the imagination.

"What are you doing up here this late?" Laurentia asks, putting a hand on my back and guiding me down the stairs as she follows me with Serena.

"I needed some fresh air," I lie. "I feel better now though."

"Oh, good," Laurentia says. "Well, let's get some rest then."

"Why are you two up here?" I ask. There are so many other questions I want to ask - is Sienna in there, and is she with anybody? But I don't.

Laurentia pauses, glancing up at Serena. "Uh, we were just-"

"Just planning for the Games," Serena says, helping Laurentia out. "You know, since you and Sienna are... allies."

"Right," Laurentia says; I can tell that she's flustered. "Sorting out sponsors and all that. Now, in you go!"

Laurentia pushes me through the door to the District Five suite.

"Good night," she calls as I hurry into my room.

I don't bother to change my clothes before I fall into my bed. I feel like the world has gone crazy. I went out looking for Sienna and came back with a whole lot more than that.

Why didn't Laurentia tell me that her and Serena are together? That sort of thing is respected, even celebrated here in the Capitol. Knowing Laurentia, she'd be trying to rub it in all of our faces that back in Five we don't have the same privileges.

The fact that I feel this way makes me even more resentful. Is this... jealousy? Am I jealous of Laurentia because she has this opportunity that I do not?

I can't deny that I wish I were as close with Sienna as Laurentia clearly is with Serena. For one, it looks like Serena was up late waiting for Laurentia to get up to the District Seven suite, and Sienna was nowhere to be found tonight while I was looking for her. But we are close - she's my best friend here, and she's helped me feel like we really can make it through the Games. Still, though, it's not the same. I can't deny anymore that I want something more than what we have, and this thought makes my face burn.

As usual, I'm screwing everything up. I'm in a solid alliance with one of the best friends I've ever had, I finally have my brother on my side, and I just have to let my feelings get in the way.

It's not too late, though. Yes, I messed up by trying to turn Sienna against Casper and Colby. I let my jealousy blind me, but that can't happen again. I need to keep my mouth shut from now on if I want any chance of surviving the Games.

What Calista said to Amanda up on the roof tonight applies to me, too. Remember that only one of us is going to survive this. That one person has to be Damien, Sienna, or me, and that means one thing. My feelings for Sienna will have to be the first to die.