ᴀɴɢᴇʟ ☑

23. Boredom, happiness, and anger

Jungkook

He thought I was kidding. I wasn't. There was no me without him anymore. He just didn't know it yet, but that was okay. "What about you? What do you want to do?" I asked him, my fingers massaging his nape slowly.

"I don't know." His body relaxed albeit there was pain behind his voice. He was lost in so many ways, and I knew I had to be his home, his safety. I was going to help him build the life of his dreams. He needed to tell me all his desires. He hadn't said a word since last night except when he asked me for his own physical release. 

"It's okay, Angel," I cooed in his ear, tenderly kissing his cheek. "I'll help you figure it out." I held back an affectionate smile making its way to my lips, part of me wilted in scorn at the thought of kissing him now. It was greedy of me.

"I don't think you can," he gripped me harder, wanting to attach himself to my body.

"You have no idea what I am capable of, baby." I tipped his face up and connected my forehead with his, our eyes closed as I felt his warmth trickling my skin.

"What are you capable of?" He whispered.

"If you want me to go kill someone for you, I will. Want a bank robbed? I am your man." He laughed lazily, the small voice taking much effort to come out. "I like you a lot, Jimin. It's easy to do things for people you like because the motivation is really strong." I explained easily.

"Don't kill anyone. Or just to be on the safe side, don't do anything illegal."

"Too late for that," I let out a noisy breath.

"What?!" He pulled away, "please tell me you didn't kill anyone."

"Angel, please." I grinned, my fingers were unable to do anything but trace his supple skin. 

"I need you to say it." He was persistent. I could feel his heartbeat against my chest, his breath stopping for a moment.

I laughed and it made him smile. And then we were just two idiots in bed. "I am good with computers, so I might have found a way to hack into my university's server and steal question papers for two years straight," I told him, gauging his reaction. He gasped, his eyes widening before he burst out laughing, the cackling of his sound sending fireworks to my chest. I didn't know he found hacking cute.

"You should've met me before," he remarked. "Your talent would've come in handy." 

"I wasn't always interested in computers," I clarified. "I mean not in a way that mattered anyway. But I got into specifics of hacking science a few years ago. I still lack the means to be a pro, but I make do with my limited resources."

"Oh, Jungkook," he was incapable to stop himself from laughing softly. "That's why you never worry about studies."

"I can help you, too," I suggested, thinking if he'd still laugh if I told him I have set up secret cameras in the house and his umbrella.

"Nah," he shook his head and sneezed like a fucking angel. "My exams are more based on the work I've been doing. I don't need help with that."

"Good," my lips were curling in a genuine smile, my heart feeling like a puddle of goo on a see-saw. Jimin made the impossible happen for me. There was nothing in my mind except how radiant he was as he smiled. I was feeling something that I supposed was happiness.

He hadn't been himself since he returned from his walk all drenched, so making him even momentarily forget his worry brought me a sense of fulfillment. "I hope you don't get in trouble, Jungkook. I'd hate to lose a perfectly good roommate."

"So you are taking me off my probation and giving me a permanent roommate position then?" I grinned, reminding him that he once suggested we had a month's trial.

"Maybe," his smile also had a glint of sadness. I was never big on emotions. I never felt happy or sad. It was pretty much grey for me in that department. Boredom was the only weapon in my arsenal, useless. Years later, I got introduced to a powerful one. Anger. The last time I'd smiled before Jimin was when I was six years old, yet I was easily able to pick each and every emotion and unsaid word from him with my limited range of sentiment scale. "Thank you for everything, Jungkook." He held back. 

"You don't have to thank me," my thumb appreciated the curve of his high cheekbone. "What should we do today?" I asked, hoping he'd let me take him out. As much of a heartthrob as people thought I was, I still hadn't had my first date yet.

"I think you should go to work and I should go to the university today." He suggested. I swear, Jimin had the worst ideas in the world.

"You don't need the university right now, Jimin. You need to eat something good and unwind. I'll take you on a long drive. We can even stop and pick up groceries together." 

His eyes shied away. Every time I proposed anything that the two of us could do, he jumped ship. He was thankful for my presence, but he was scared of telling me how much I was affecting him. He was letting me fuck him, but he was afraid of accepting that it was more than that. He did everything in his capacity to shun down my ideas just so he could tell himself that he wasn't letting it get out of his hand, but what he didn't know was there was no coming back for him anymore. 

I still let him feel that he had a choice. 

"No," he shook his head. "Professor Malnor has an important update for us. I think he might be able to help me graduate early."

"You really wanna go to the university today?" My voice couldn't hide the reproach. I didn't want him to leave at all. He wasn't okay, I could feel it in his dry eyes and tired body. 

"Five minutes are up."

I let him go from my arms. 

He sat up, breathing for a good one minute before stepping down. I remained in bed, my head heating at the thought of Jimin wanting to be away from me. I knew he needed time to completely accept the things his body was feeling for me, and I had to make it happen by showing him what I had to offer. 

Every time rage reared its ugly head, I focused on the one and only sacrifice I ever made. Anger was the tool I'd acquired, but it took a lot from me to allow me to master it so that I could channel it for the right cause at the right time. 

"Jungkook?" He called while walking towards his study desk. 

"Yes, Angel?" I answered and a smile immediately jumped to my lips. The sort that I had to forcefully fetch sometimes. 

"Are you going to sleep the whole day?" He asked me.

The sheets rustled and I slipped on the sliders in my foot before walking towards him and I was behind him, leaning down and kissing his nape.

"Woah, woah!" His voice was argumentive but weak. His eyes rolled back in pleasure, his body leaning back into me for more, but he showed great self-restraint. The fact that he spoke steadily while protesting against his desire was applause-worthy. "You can't just kiss me all the time, Jungkook. What did we just agree on?" 

His no touching during the day rule. If I could, I'd shoot the rules into ignorance. 

I retreated, his body going tense. "Fine," I said, my voice dry as I grumbled, rolling the long hair up on my head in agitation. He blinked at me timidly before I paced over to the couch and slumped on it.

He was too silent, his eyes on me, I didn't need to look at him through the screen to know it. I turned on my laptop and began to type on it with his whole concentration on my every move.

I wasn't very focused on the work, but my motivation to ignore him was greater than anything. I wanted to fucking give him everything. But it really unhinged me when he decided to push me away. This was the one thing I came to know that was affecting me more than anything. He could never leave me. I needed to make it clear without scaring him. 

Then he said, "Maybe... I- I think I'll do classes from home today."

I smirked.