Give love a try. [Chyan]

25. The Other Side

The final bow. A staple of theatre all around the world, it was something Ryan had never really thought he would be as proud of as he was when the curtains were raised again. Now though, all he could do was bask in pride of what he had created. Ryan scanned the front row only to find the four seats that his family and Troy had previously occupied to be empty.

Well, that wasn't a surprise.

It took a second for the world to come back to him. For the cheers of his classmates to infiltrate the haze. For the audience's applause to finally reach him.

It was over.

He did it.

He finally made his voice heard.

In a moment of pure elation, Ryan cheered just as loud as his friends did, grinning even wider at Chad's startled giggle. "Holy shit. I did it. Oh my god." He clapped his hands excitedly and leapt into Chad's arms once more, there were so many feelings running through him. Joy, so much fucking joy. Ryan had never felt more proud of a piece of art he'd ever made, this was the most earnest, heartfelt thing he had ever created and Ryan could not be more happy. He also felt loved, looking at his boyfriend and his friends, who all looked so happy for him, so proud. Ryan couldn't believe he had so many people on his side, it all felt so new, it was almost overwhelming but the love in their eyes, in their actions made him feel safe too.

But he felt scared too. In all honesty, Ryan was fucking terrified. His life was about to change, in ways he could have never imagined before. And he could not be more afraid, but he was also excited. Finally choosing himself felt like a breath of fresh air, it felt like finally breaking out of the box he had been forced into all his life. He finally got to have a life, to live it however he wanted to. He finally got a life that could be his and nobody else's.

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However the joy that seemed to permeate the auditorium did nothing to assuage the despair that spread just beyond the doors.

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The play had been beautiful. Incredibly well produced and nonlinear without being confusing.
Those were Sharpay's first thoughts as she walked back to her condo, with tears still pouring down her face. She was barely aware of Troy who walked beside her. For the first time in a while, Sharpay didn't insist on holding his hand, she didn't say much of anything actually. She supposed she was similar to Ryan in this way, they both retreated as far into their minds as possible when they were overwhelmed. Besides, even if she could speak, she wouldn't know what to say.

After nearly two hours of Vance Evans' greatest hits, what could she possibly say. How could she even think over the memories of all the times she called Ryan dramatic whenever he was upset with their father, when she defended Vance whenever Ryan, or occasionally Derby, said anything negative about him. Sharpay paused and buried her face in her hands, how could she have been so blind. A sob wracked through her so hard, she swayed on her high heels, that prompted Troy to wrap an arm around her waist. Any other time she would have been overjoyed at the contact, now it just made her feel sick as the memory of her kicking Ryan out of her show clawed it's way to the forefront of her mind.

"I'm a horrible person." The words came out of her mouth as they came to mind. It was the first time she had ever even thought such a thing, the weight of that truth threatened to drag her under. Not only did Ryan hate her father, but he thought she was just like him. Did he hate her too? Just thinking of it made her heart clench and another hoarse sob came strangled out of her mouth, getting caught in her throat. Even Troy, who had essentially turned into her yesman, said nothing. Instead he hugged her stiffly in an attempt to comfort her. In that moment she noticed how horribly awkward it all was, how he hugged her around the shoulders as if she was one of his teammates, with the distance between the causing him to lean over. God, how could she be so blind.

So delusional. Troy never liked her, she had always known he followed her for the benefits that came with wealth, but Sharpay had managed to convince herself that he had fallen for her just as much as she had him. But he had not. Troy disliked her just as much as before, maybe even more now that he had seen the play. Sharpay hated that she managed to push away everyone she once called friends, even if those friendships were shallow, at least they knew how to comfort her, hugging her tight and giving her words of encouragement. Troy just stood there, silent and clearly uncomfortable. Looking at him now Sharpay realised she didn't like Troy much either. What she had liked was the satisfaction that came with finally winning, getting him to choose her over Gabriella, but now, in his arms, she realised that all she wanted was for him to let go.

How could she be so foolish? Because now the only person who could stand to be with her, was the one person she wanted to leave her alone. "Do you think he could ever forgive me?" She asked Troy, her voice soft yet hoarse, it had been the only thing on her mind as they made the slow trek back to her condo.

There was another moment of silence as Troy searched for something to say. He had never expected that this was the direction his summer would go and responded with a sigh, "I hope so. You've got a lot to apologize for, but he loves you. So...it will probably work out, y'know." That was admittedly pretty terrible as far as pep talks go. Gabriella was always so much better at those than he was. She always knew what to say. And he really did hope that Ryan was in a forgiving mood because he also had a lot to apologize for. And not just with Ryan either. How did he get here? Alienating everyone he cared about and possibly destroying one of the most important relationships he had ever had. Over jealousy?

Troy still didn't fully understand how possessive he felt over Chad, or how resentful he felt towards Ryan. But he did now understand that everything he had done and said we're completely unacceptable. And after seeing just how shitty Ryan's life had been, despite the wealth and glamour, the only thing Troy felt was guilt. He felt so fucking guilty it made him nausea. A little bit of separation anxiety turned him into an obsessive asshole that dedicated way too much time to antagonising Ryan. What did he even gain out of it? Was it sadism? Did he enjoy the suffering if his perceived enemy, or perhaps rival? Troy didn't really know. But it was juvenile, all of it was.

Childish pettiness turned him into a bully and he felt his eyes burn with tears that threatened to fall. "We should probably talk to them sometime soon. If we want to like...fix things and stuff." Sharpay didn't comment on how stupid he sounded, instead she just nodded in agreement and pulled her key out of her purse. But her hands were shaking too much to get it into the keyhole, so he unlocked the door. The condo was a bit of a mess with random articles of glittery clothing and shoes were strewn across the condo. Sharpay tended to sprawl in the spaces she lived in, never bothering to tidy up her things as there was always someone there to do it for her. It had always been a source of annoyance for Ryan as he usually ended up being the person tidying her mess.

Sharpay glared at all the clothes she left in the living room and stormed to her bedroom, kicking shoes out of her way rather than stepping over them. The first thing she did was drop onto the seat at her vanity and turn on the mirror lights. She immediately regretted it as the sight of her face, eyes red and puffy with her cheeks covered in black tracks only rocked her further. Her blues eyes, a near identical match with Ryan's, seemed to stand out more with the red background, looked so empty. Sucked absolutely dry of any life they had in them earlier. This was a punch in the gut as realised she had seen this look. Nearly everyday in the eyes of her brother. And a new batch of tears gathered.

How can a person fuck up so fundamentally, and how do you come back from it?

Sharpay began her nightly routine, moving entirely in autopilot, ignoring the sticky note Troy had left on her fridge. She couldn't even bring herself to pretend to care about what he wanted to say to her, instead she grabbed the carton of grapes and began to eat them for dinner, she couldn't be bothered with ordering it. She didn't want to face anyone, especially not one of their servers. She didn't want to sit through the judgement in their eyes. All she wanted was some peace and quiet so she could think. There were apologies to be made and she needed to figure out the best way to do it.

Sharpay hoped that their relationship was fixable, because after everything she had done and said, her brother had every reason in the world to never speak to her again. Hopefully Ryan would accept her apologies, and maybe even forgive her. But first, she needed to stop crying.

Constructive criticism is very welcome and very much appreciated and if any of you have any advice you'd like to share please do so.

Published: 14-04-2023