Not Ready

Chapter One

"You look pretty, going out?" I look through the mirror to see my ex-boyfriend, Shaun, sitting comfortably on my bed. He looks the same as I last saw him a year ago, dressed in some random brand sweatsuit I could care less about. I knew he'd be here the minute I agreed to this date with James, a guy from work who has been showing his interest in me for the last few months.

I ignore Shaun and focus on my reflection, inserting my earring in my right ear.

"So I guess you really are going out with another man?" He sneers. "Not surprised."

I look over my appearance. I went for a natural look with my makeup because I forgot to pick up more throughout the workweek. It's not like I made it a priority; I'm still surprised that I'm even going.

"You didn't wear a wig with me." Shaun smirks, folding his arms over his chest. "Afraid he won't like the REAL you?"

I ignore him again, but the thoughts hit home. I start fiddling with my curls. My lace band is still wrapped around my edges to ensure that it is glued down. I didn't start wearing wigs until after the breakup. Not for lack of confidence. I was simply tired of the defeated person I saw in the mirror and wanted a different look. And that's exactly what I did. Would he like the real me? I shake my head. No. Don't give in.

I get out of the chair and head to the bathroom to get my bracelet, which was left on top of the sink counter. Shaun sits on the toilet, leaning his muscular body back with both hands inside his hoodie pocket. I never considered my bathroom small, but every time he'd sit on the toilet as I aimlessly did tasks, his body would make the room appear smaller. After attaching the chain to my wrist, I open the mirror to get some mascara.

"Can't believe you're so quick getting back out there." I pretend he isn't there when I start applying mascara to my eyelashes. "So I'm just getting the cold shoulder?"

I drew a steadying breath. "Leave me alone." This was the last thing I wanted right now. I thought it'd be different, that I waited long enough to be over this stage.

"I wouldn't be here if you wanted that." He stretches out his knee. "Why lie to yourself?"

But I don't want you here. I want nothing more than for him to leave for good. For me to finally find peace. Yet, the more he remains in my space, I start to question whether or not I should cancel the date altogether and stay home.

"You still got time to tell him no. I know you want to."

I leave the bathroom to go back to my room. My apartment is silent. My roommate, Yelana, has been gone for the last week because she went to visit her parents in Atlanta. I wished that she was here to give me more words of encouragement. She was happy over the phone when I told her about my plans. She sounded more excited than me.

I lightly tap my phone to check the time on the dresser. There were a few notifications from my social media apps and a text message from James saying he was on his way.

"I give it 30 minutes before your nerves get the best of you." Shaun laughs while leaning against the wall next to my mirror. I sit carefully on the edge of my bed. I try to come up with any additional tasks, no matter how small or large, that need to be completed, but I can't. I'll be fully prepared to leave when James arrives to pick me up.

"Oh, don't tell me you plan on staying. You'll just be wasting everyone's time."

I lower my head. It's not like there's anything wrong with James. He's an attractive, mature, God-driven family man who treats everyone with respect. In the time that I have known him, he's been a reliable, funny, and good company to be around, which is why I gave him a chance. If I were to get back out there, he'd be the ideal guy for me. A guy the complete opposite of Shaun.

"If you're so over me, why am I here?" Shaun whispers the words in my ear. He's sitting next to me on the bed. Close beyond comfort. I jump up and stride to the opposite side of the room.

"Guess you're not the big person you thought you were." He smirks, eyeing me the way he does when he knows he has struck a nerve.

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A.N. Hi everyone, thank you for reading the first chapter. When I completed this short story (a few days ago) I didn't separate it into chapters so please bear with me. There will be chapters shorter than others. Also, this short story is based on a real scenario that I made into a fiction story.

By the end of this short story all the pieces of the story line will make sense. You'll find out more and more each chapter.

Feel free to comment, vote or share. I genuinely love hearing feedback.