Not Ready

Chapter Two

"Leave me alone."

"Leave me alone." He mimics. "Is that all you can say? You're usually more vocal. What's the matter? Saving your words for Mr. Perfect?" My fists clench at my sides. Shaun throws his hands up. "Oh my bad, I can't make fun of your boyfriend, cool."

I start taking deep breaths, placing both hands on my head to help control my anxiety. I need water. I rush to the kitchen, and Shaun is already there, sitting on top of the island.

"How do you know I'm out there doing me? Huh? What if I'm at home broken over you? Thinking of you. Does that matter to you anymore?"

I ignore his presence and make myself a cup of water, bringing it back to my room. I drink the fluid before setting the cup down on my desk. I can get through this. I'm not weak. I will enjoy myself. Those are the words Yelana told me to repeat to myself when my mind got the best of me.

    Shaun is lying on the bed. "Selfish of you to not consider my feelings, thats all."

    F*** your feelings. If he really gave a crap about me, he would've shown me. If he was truly apologetic for the things that he has done, he would apologize, but he hasn't. I'm nothing to him, even if he won't admit it; his actions do. And I refuse to waste any more months hoping for a message that admits his mistakes.

    "Do you miss me?" I suddenly see Shaun standing upright in front of me. "One call could change that if you swallow your pride."

    I'm repulsed by his words. "Leave. Me. Alone." I say through gritted teeth.

"I'm such a bother to you, huh?" He grabs my arm. "I'm not the slut seeing other people!" He shouts.

"I'm not a slut." My heartbeat accelerates again. His presence is enough to smother my positive thoughts.

"Then why do you feel guilty?" He asks, his grip tightening on my arm. I look away. Is this why this is happening?

"Answer me! WHY am I here, Amari?!" His yelling makes my mouth dry. I feel dizzy. "You want me here!"

"N-no." I shake my head. "Go away..."

"You can't handle the thought of you moving on." Shaun uses his free arm to grip my face and force me to stare at him. My eyes widen in fear at Shaun's anger. It's more excessive than usual.

Why is this version of him so aggressive?

"Admit it!" My body feels trapped against his hold. I close my eyes in my last attempt to ignore him. "SAY IT." He shouts.

"ENOUGH!" I scream. Instantly, I don't feel Shaun's hands on me. I'm breathing heavily, my chest rising up and down like irregular mountain patterns. My phone blares to life from the counter. At first, I don't move, but when the phone continues to ring, I open my eyes to an empty bedroom. I look towards my phone and see James's name flash over the screen.

I pick up before the call stops.

"Hello?" My voice sounds feeble.

"Hey, are you okay?" James' chasmic voice is filled with concern.

"Yea.." I say, looking around my empty room, hoping that Shaun doesn't show up. "Y-yea, sorry. I'm okay. I just...." I try to think of an excuse but fail to come up with one.

"Are you sure?" James sounds doubtful, and I don't blame him.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Okay, I'm downstairs whenever you're ready."

The thought of me leaving the house doesn't sound bad. Instead, I welcome this as a new distraction. "Coming down. See you soon." I utter a quick bye before hanging up, grabbing my things, and leaving my apartment.

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A.N. Hey y'all, hope you enjoyed reading. I've been contemplating whether to just upload everything in one chapter or just continue breaking up the story this way. I think I'll stick with chapters for now.

Any thoughts on Shaun?

As always feel free to leave feedback. Have a great weekend!