Rodrick Heffley x (masc) Reader || oneshots

3

Y/N is 6'6" in this one. And a lineman 4 football. This will also be super short. 

Mention of gore. It's not that detailed.

Dat is wut ur wearing. KK? KK.

"All this momentum is doing me in! Fuck it all! fuck this world! Fuck everything that you stand for! Don't belong! don't exist! Don't give a shit! Don't ever judge me!" The song 'Surfacing' by Slipknot was blasting through my headphones. I was sitting in a very awkward potion in my chair and was messing around on Myspace and looked at the time. Jesus. It's already 12:40? Time flies when you're on the internet I guess. I was wearing some gray sweatpants and a KoRn t-shirt. 

I glance over at the window and see a bunch of random teens in a circle kicking and jabbing at another kid in the very crappy street lamp light. I looked closer to see if I knew the kid being beat up. God damn it. Not again. I take off my headphones and start running out of my house and into my lawn. I walked over to  the damn kids and walked right behind one of them. Not very surprisingly, I towered over them. They looked about 5'7". I saw the person they were beating up look at me and smiled his dorky little smile. All the teens then turned and looked at me and just stared.

"Hello. I'll be taking this dumbass off your hands." I tell the kids, grabbing Rodricks shoulder and bringing him behind me. 

"Are you stupid? We were beating the crap outta him. Just look at him! How are you so calm? Are you not afraid we will do that to you?" the one I walked behind said, looking up at me. 

"I know that you won't do that to me because I can easily pick all of your skinny asses up and throw you." I say, looking down at the teen in front of me, narrowing my eyes at him and giving a smile.  He walked backwards to his friends and I walked Rodrick to my house, leaving the teens in awe, which I didn't understand. I get that I'm 6 foot 6 and a front lineman for Plainviews' football team, but still. 

"What the hell were you doing?" I asked Rodrick when we got into my house.

"I was just minding my own business, walking over to your house because I missed your dumbass and I guess they were looking for a fight." he gave a weak smile.

"Oh lord, kid." I say, shaking my head. I bring him over to my bathroom which was next to my kitchen. And guess who just walked into the kitchen? Thats right. My mother. 

"Y/N? Rodrick? What's going on?" my mom asked us.

"I'll uh, explain later." I peek my head into the kitchen and tell my birth giver. 

"Hi Mrs.Y/L/N." Rodrick says from the bathroom. I walked in and shut the door. 

"Sit." I order Rodrick, pointing at the sink. He obeys and gets on the sink, wincing slightly. "Where did they get you?" he was wearing an all black shirt, so I couldn't tell where he was bleeding in the crappy bathroom light. 

"Uhh. Funny thing. The only spot I know about is right around here." he pointed at this area pretty damn close to pant line. "Everything hurts so it's hard to tell where I got hit."

"Take off you shirt. I need a close look." I order him. I looked at him to find him blushing."It's not like that dumbass. Just take the damn thing off." he hesitantly listened and took off his shirt. To literally everyones surprise, he had abs. But, he also had very many cuts and bruises. I stood there, in shock. I'll admit it, he had a very attractive chest. I snapped out of it and got hydrogen peroxide, bandages, and cotton swabs. 

"No. You are not using that... Thing on me. It's painful." he pointed at the hydrogen peroxide.

"Oh, shut up. If it hurts it means that it's working. You big baby." I rolled my eyes and started putting the hydrogen peroxide on a cotton swab. It was bleeding quite a bit so I grabbed a rag and started carefully wiping away the blood. Rodrick winced a bit. "Thanks for trying to stay still. Appreciate it." 

"Yea-Ha- OW YOU BITCH!" he yelled as I put the hydrogen peroxide on the wound. 

"I know, I know."

"NO YOU DO NOT KNOW. OW." he gripped the back of my shirt with his left hand. 

"I'm almost done. Wait- the fuck is this?" I say as I see something sticking out of the wound. 

"THE FUCK IS WHAT?" he starts panicking and moves his right hand to block my hand from touching it further. 

"Hey, please. Let me look." he shakily moved his hand away and I got a better look. Glass bottle. Amateurs. "It's glass. I'm going to take it out. Don't choke me." I plucked it out of his skin and threw it way in the trash can near the toilet. I noticed that he tensed, but didn't kill me. "I'm going to wrap up your chest and stomach. Don't you dare move and inch or I will strap you down." he painfully smiled a bit.

"Oo~ Kinky." he jokes. 

"Shut up." I wrapped his body and saw him trying to put on his shirt. "What do you think you're doing? You are not wearing that thing." I rip his shirt out of his hands and picked him up.

"How do you wrap it so... well?"

"I had to learn how to wrap for football." I carried him bridal style out of the bathroom and started walking towards my room.

"Oooww." 

"I know. We are literally almost to my room." we walked into my room as soon as I finished my sentence and I set him down on my bed. I started searching for a specific shirt in my closet. When I found it, I threw it at him.

"Where did you get this? This is my shirt you thief." 

"You left it here dumbass."

"Oh. I don't want to put it on though." I turned around to face him on the bed. He was lying there, sprawled across the king bed.

"Why?"

"Uhh. It feels nice to let it air out?" he tries. 

"Is that the truth, or do you just like seeing how 'flustered' I get when I see your chest?"

"The second one." he grinned his dumb nerdy grin. 

"Wow. Not surprised."

"Well, I guess I have to leave. Now. My mom will be scared if I'm not there. Love you, bye." 

"No, you are not leaving."

I had my mother tell Mrs. Heffley that Rodrick came over for homework. He slept in my arms the entire night. 

1142 words. Quite short compared 2 others imma write. Im 2 lazy 2 write the other details for this story.