1st April 2023
Saturday, 10:00 PM
Dear April,
The past three months have been rough for me. All my plans and expectations became wordless as they challenged me with betrayals, emotional breakdowns, and loneliness. Nonetheless, I survived alone.
I've come to realize that not everybody is meant to stay in your life, no matter how much effort you put into it. Some just came to teach you a lesson: there are some people in your life to whom no matter how much love you give, it will eventually be meaningless.
Last December, before Thanksgiving, even if it was so hard for me, I also started to cut ties with people whom I helped at their worst, but they ended up cheating on me. Best friends, closest friends, acquaintances, relatives, and someone very special to my heart, my ex-boyfriend, Aster.
Exactly the new year, I finally decided to detach everything that is keeping me to remember them to open a new beginning with peace of mind.
Honestly, until now, I still miss them. I still wish they were all here with me. I thank heaven for letting me experience these tragedies that made me wiser than ever...because if these didn't happen to me, I wouldn't know who's worth keeping in and out of my paradise.
But there is one thing that scares me after gaining these fears; giving pain to people I do not intend to hurt—that even when I try to be as nice as I was before, it cannot be helped anymore. Because the damage was too deep enough to doubt every intention they showed me.
Even so, not hoping for a fast recovery, I pray for the pain to let me go and let me heal when I am ready to commit again. So maybe then...I'll be free to regain my confidence—without minding what people think of me.
The Daisy in the Meadow,
Dahlia April E. Cuevas.
