Way of understanding myself

I get along without you very well

I get along without you very well
Of course, I do
Except when soft rains fall
And drip from leaves, then I recall
The thrill of being sheltered in your arms
Of course, I do
But I get along without you very well
I've forgotten you
Just like I should
Of course, I have
Except to hear your name
Or someone's laugh that is the same
But I've forgotten you just like I should
What a guy
What a fool am I
To think my breaking heart
Could kid the moon
What's in store?
Should I phone once more?
No, it's best that I stick to my tune
I get along without you very well
Of course, I do
Except perhaps in spring
But I should never think of spring
For that would surely break my heart in two

It hurts. No matter what I do. I'll be hung up on you forever. I just can't force myself to let go of you. I am reliant on you.
The withdrawal symptoms make my body shake in fear, make me be in a cold sweat. And then I start to hyperventilate.

No matter how hard I try. I will keep lying to you. I don't mean things the way I make it seem.
When I'm feeling bad I don't even have to ask for a hug. You take me into your arms as if you could read my mind. I know you can't but you know me well enough to predict my actions and thoughts. You give me comfort, tolerate and enjoy my touch that isn't meant the way you want it to be. But you torture me by not accepting what I want to give you. Not giving me what I want from you is not as bad as one could think. I don't need anything in return for my love, I just wish it would be appreciated by you as a gift from me to you.
I want to see the soft look in your eyes all day long. I want to smell the warmth of your skin.  I want to run my hands through your soft hair all the time. I want to comfort you when you look at me with those sad eyes of yours. I'd make you coffee in the morning. I'd cook a five course meal at three in the morning if you wished for it. I would work three jobs to pay for you to have a luxurious lifestyle or even for you to just waist the money on whatever you'd want. I would stay awake for years and I would starve myself to death if this is what you wanted me to do. But I would never tell you how my  feelings haven't disappeared. After I told you that friendship isn't all I wish to share with you, I just kept acting like it never happened. There is no drama until someone makes it seem dramatic. We didn't. You think I'm doing better than I am, but...

I get along without you very well. Of course I do. Except when soft rains fall and drip from leaves, then I recall the thrill of being sheltered in your arms, of course I do. But I get along without you very well.