Bullied

Twelve

The hatred that runs through peoples veins is horrible. The pure vengeance, that the inflict on others to see them suffer. It's a horrible world, we sacrifice each other. The boy who went off at me and warned me to keep my mouth closed, saw the blood and glass on the bathroom tiles, he went in and found me unconscious hanging by my neck from the unforgiving rope, in an unforgiving world. He managed to resuscitate me enough to get me to breath, but i was unresponsive... he carried me to a teacher to get help, seeing as no one else could give enough shits to help. While cutting my arms, i managed to cut and puncture my main vein in my wrist... that explains why it was so much more painful, and the great amount of blood loss.

They called the ambulance, along with my aunty and uncle. I'm sick of hospital rooms already, they annoy me. What do people not get about not wanting to be fucking saved!? I don't want to go back to school, i really don't. I can't even imagine what's to come, but I'm guessing a lot of shit. I haven't really talked to my aunty or uncle about it, and i still don't plan to, but these cuts on my arms are sure to scar, great reminder of my shitty childhood...well if i make it to look back on my childhood.

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Wednesday...

I go back to school today. I bandage my fresh wounded cuts, put on a few bracelets and wear my long sleeved uniform and a jumper, just for extra padding. I hope no one grabs my arms today, it will really hurt and they are extra sensitive. When i get to school, it's worse than i expected. People are slut shaming me, a whole new lot of rumours have started and they all know about my most private secrets. This couldn't get any worse... but it does. I unlock my locker, to find heaps of packets of salt, all types of blades, pictures, death notes, a bottle of bleach, a rope, and some pills with a note saying '2nd time lucky'. I fall to my knees in front of my locker, and just cry... i know everyone's watching me and i hear their mocking laughter, but I'm sick of holding myself together when i have nothing to stick the pieces together with...it's pointless.

I'm sick of fighting the battle only to lose every single time... when i think I'm winning, the tables turn and I'm stabbed in the back. I should just lock myself in my room and never come out. I feel an arm wrap around my shoulder and i pull away before i see who it is, it's that boy... the one who saved me. I stand to my feet, I'm angry, I'm angry that he thinks he can come and comfort me when he is the reason i'm still alive to feel this pain. He had to be the fucking hero and mess it all up.

"Are you alright?" He asks, his face is emotionless.

"I would be if it wasn't for you!" I yell.

"If it wasn't for me? I saved you! I'm the reason you're alive!" He yells back, just as annoyed as i am.

"Exactly! You're the reason I'm still alive!" I pick my stuff up and throw it in my locker, locking it and storming off. Maybe i should just try every single type of suicide until people give up trying to help me.