the way he is with me (scream 1996)

xi. Youre not here

    I let my eyes adjust to my surroundings as they slowly fluttered open, I stared up at the bright white light for a minute before reality hit me again. I sat up quickly, scanning the scene and the room I was in, I glared at the tv on the wall before my eyes darted to my outfit, I had on a long white gown with blue dots on it. Oh, I was in the hospital. Suddenly the hospital door opened, a woman in scrubs walked into the room, she put a bowl of mashed potato's down in my lap then sat down next to me.

      "How are you feeling?" She asked with a warm smile on her face.

      I grabbed the fork and poked the mashed potatoes, not looking to appealing, I pushed some into my mouth.

       Not realizing how hungry I was, I swallowed it and then pushed some more into my mouth.

         "How did I not die?" I asked, my head darted up to the nurse. "Well," the nurse paused, she placed her hand right next to my heart lightly trying not to hurt me. "You came in two nights ago with a knife in you, just missing your heart. If the ETMS didn't come when they did, you'd be gone now." She spoke softly and comfortably.

I poked the inside of my cheek and then pushed the mashed potatoes away, ignoring the grumbling in my tummy.

"You're going to be questioned later, do you have anyone to pick you up?" She asked.

I stayed silent, not answering her. Where is Billy? Where's Stu? Did they leave me for dead? Was Sidney right? Is that why Billy didn't show up at the movie theater? My mind overflowed with confusion.

• • •

I sat in the back with a sheriff, he held a clip board in his hand and glared at me. "Can you tell me...." The sheriff started to speak, I don't even remember what he asked though, my mind was wandering from left to right, suddenly I started to hear airplane noises, the whole room got foggy, actually I just kinda settled into this small place, I sunk in this small chair, and I watched myself from third person, staring at sheriff with a blank face and sleepy eyes, like my eyelids weighed a million pounds.

"Who was the killer?" He asked. Well, I can't say it was Sidney's dad because I was found in the garage next to Sidney and Randy and he was found dead in the kitchen. "It was Sidney, she shoved a knife into my chest, just barley missing my heart, but I shot her in time, I passed out after I killed her." I explained to him, he scribbled some things down in his notepad.

"Okay, Taylor you're good to go, have a nice day." He smiled warmly.

I got out of that place as soon as I could, it smelled like old people, it was night time and it was dark out, the moonlight poured over me like a waterfall through the windows. "Taylor, your dad is waiting outside." A nurse said, I furrowed my eyebrows slightly, as I turned my head away from the nurse.

My eyes met with my fathers, his sober orbs swam with curiosity. I pushed my hands into my hoodie pockets and approached my dad. He took me out to his car and we started driving. He didn't ask me why I was in the hospital and not the psych ward, he probably didn't even remember he put me in it.

"I don't know why you would do that to yourself." He spat out, my eyes swam with tears. His voice was cold. "I've been so lonely without you, hon." His voice broke.

"All I've ever wanted was loving parents." My voice was brittle, my nose began to turn pink and I bit my lip hard holding back tears. "You know what, I'm a good person. I always tried to help your mother with her drug problems and it's not my fault she stuck a needle in her arm!" My father yelled at me. I didn't even say anything back, though. There was no point in it. He always made every problem of mine about him. I've been given everything except for an apology.

My dad pulled up into the driveway, the house looked the exact same. I wonder what he told people at my school. "Oh yeah, Taylor's on Vaca."

I opened my bedroom door once I got upstairs. Everything was left untouched. I stood in the doorway glaring at my things.

My head turned towards the bathroom, feeling my stomach dropping slowly as I approached it. I pushed the bathroom door open slowly and looked at the tub. You could still see some blood stains in the tub. The wine red dried fluid was stuck there forever.

I walked back into my room, and closed my door. Out of this house whole house it was crazy because it comforted me so much, this empty kind of sad feeling messed with my brain and tricked me into finding comfort and warmth in it.

I could feel myself getting nauseous, my stomach falling, more and more saliva coming into my mouth, I grabbed my trash can and puked into it, wiping away every last chunk of mashed potatoes.

I got up and opened my window, staring out it as the crisps of the wind intertwined itself in between my fingers. I suddenly felt the urge to climb out of it, so I did. I climbed out of my window after just coming back from the hospital and I walked.

I said it was just a quick walk at first, but then minutes turned into hours, and hours turned into blocks. I just followed my feet, I had lost control, I didn't know where I was, but what I did know, is that I was at a lake. The same lake where me and billy went.

I sat at the cliff of it, glaring down at the water, I shifted out of my body and saw myself glaring down at it for a split second, I already felt like I was dead, my eyelids weighed a million pounds, I leaned back and closed my eyes.

         Suddenly I felt something pick me up, it's arms wrapped around my body, I felt a peck on my forehead, I wanted to open my eyes but I couldn't.