the way he is with me (scream 1996)

viii. saturday night things

tw. GRAPHIC mentions of suicide

I remember it so clearly.

It was September 16th, 1998. It was three weeks after my first day of senior year, I was picked on for my acne and my wrists, I came home crying after Nancy Graham called me pepperoni face in front of the whole grade.

    I remember coming home with mascara dripping down my face and my head hurting.

    Have you ever felt like your edges were melting off? Like you were melting, but not in a good way.

     My dad was at work, he was working late, maybe he was just lying. He was probably out at the bar drunk, having sex with some rando that he met at the club while his daughter was at home in her over flowing bathtub.

      The bath water was almost full, my arms were on both sides of the tub, resting there as I felt my heart beating inside of my throat making it hard for me to breath, but it made me feel like I was floating, and it was comforting to float. I glared at the blades on the side of the tub, I always kept two so that if my dad found out and took one away, I'd always have an extra. Hesitantly, I picked them up. I watched the wine red fluid drip down, plunk, plunk, plunk was the noise that it made as it made its way into the clear water. It was bad, it looked like a murder scene, the water began to turn red as I slowly let my eyes close as they rolled to the back of my head.
      
    I even remember what I was wearing, I had on a red long sleeved shirt, not allowing the blood to stain it, I didn't have on pants, I just had on black underwear.

     I could even see the look on my dads face without even looking at it, at first, he probably didn't even realize I was dead in the bathroom— well, because I closed the curtain, it wasn't until a blade fell into the tub, the water slightly splashed.

      My dad probably over reacted, like he does all the time, or at least I think. I was never around him much after mom died.

      Anyways, Randy opened the car door for me, I was wearing a dark blue babydoll top and flared dark blue jeans, a pearl necklace effortlessly grounded my neck. Randy and I walked into the theater.

      "You can get whatever," Randy told me as he counted his money. I slowly scanned the candy with my eyes.

       "I'll just have a slushy, blue raspberry." I answered.

•   •   •

        I wonder is a ghost face will pop up and stab somebody here, making them crawl onto stage as they slowly die while everyone throws popcorn at them and boo, I also wondered if that ghost face would be billy and the person on stage was Randy because I don't know where the hell billy is, he told me he'd be here but he isn't. Suddenly, I felt a cold hand press lightly against my arm.

      My eyes quickly dart down and I see Randy's hand brushing over my arm, across the straight bumps.

       He removed his hand and placed it around my neck.

      Randy's nose nuzzled against my neck lightly, I shivered and glared at him. "Watch the movie," i snapped at him, with a little more attitude then I should've used.

       Like forty minutes into the movie, I need to go to the bathroom, so I do, I go, and suddenly someone knocks on my bathroom stall.

        "H....Hello?" I say hesitantly.

         "erm, T-Taylor?" Randy's voice was nervous and quiet, i suddenly remembered the pocket knife I keep in my bra.

         "Randy! Y-You can't be in the girls bathroom, perv!" I told him. What the hell is he doing in here? Does he think that he can just come into the lady's room and harass me? God, can't I take a piss without him being up my ass?!

         "Taylor, let me in." He said, almost sounding demanding. I saw him stick his fingers through the stall door, I unlocked the stall quickly, annoyed by what he was doing, suddenly, he kissed me hard, I tried to push him away but he was too strong.

          "Randy get off of me!" I yelled. He broke the kiss, "I guess you sad girls are like every other regular one, prude and uptight." He said, glaring down at my wrist. My smile slowly faded, and I swear something whispered to me in my ear, get him on the ground. "You're a prick!" I yelled at him, I pushed him away, hard enough to knock him slightly out of the stall, I grabbed the stall door and slammed it against his face, hard enough to get him on the ground.

        He was out, out like a light. I can't kill him now, though, not in a movie theater.

         I'll let him wake up, go home, go to the party, and then I'll kill him. I'm not going back to the psych ward.

         I remember walking out of that theater playing with the pocket knife in my pocket. I also stopped by the liquor store to grab a pack of cigarettes, I lit one and continued to walk. I was still pissed at billy for not showing up, if it wasn't for him, Randy would've been dead, 1 down, 2 more to go but no, Billy decides not to show up.

          I through the cigarette on the ground and smashed it with my shoe. I kept a straight face the whole way home, I was so mad. I could hear the pulse in my ears as they heated up with anger.

          I slammed the motel door shut, the guy who worked there glared at me, I didn't look back at him though, I was too lost in thought to even notice, I opened the door and saw Billy and Stu sleeping in bed, I stomped over to billy and shouted. 

            "Hey! How'd you sleep while I was taking care of Randy by myself!" I shouted at billy, waking up Stu too. His face fell.

             "Oh my god, I'm so sorry Taylor, I-I don't realize the ti-" he said before I cut him off. "It's fine." I through my hand up in front of his face, I walked out of the motel and sat outside.

           God, when did I get so soft? I never used to forgive so easily, I never used to forgive at all. What did billy do with the normal Taylor, because this isn't her.