My Clarity

Chapter thirty one

Beneath the bright lights of desire, of longing and love, Rose was dazzled at just how Jack approached her, after a long and stressful day back at the office; living as an imposter. There seemed to be a change to him, a need, something which had perhaps smouldered beneath the surface but now seemed to come at her full force. His arms were at her waist, pulling at the linen of her nightdress and she almost believed that he may have traced his fingertips upwards to pull it from her body, and how she would have welcomed that, just feeling his touch went away the doubts which had been chasing through her own mind for most of the day spent alone and lonely. He wore the days stress upon his face and she reached to touch the lines of worry and soothe them away with just a swipe of her fingertips.

"I can see the difference within you already," Rose examined the way his eyes were full of queries, his mind processing them, and the weight was fully visible to see thrust upon his shoulders. "You are not wrong to want to leave this place."

''I know that.'' Jack exhaled, holding her to him where he needed her the most. ''I feel nothing but the weight of the burdens.''

''Did you manage to do much work?''

''What is there to do when the entire place is surrounded by the damned press. I felt as though I was about to be put on trial.'' He ran his fingers through his hair. ''Charlie revels in that. He can make a success out of anything. Me, I can barely even walk in a straight line these days.''

''Oh, Jack.''

He was about to shrug off her pity, when he softened to realise just how well she meant. Instead, he nuzzled his face into her neck; inhaling the scent, his home. His.

''I'm sorry.''

''I want you to be happy. To be content. Carefree. Wherever that would be.''

His lifted his gaze to face her, serious. "What about you? Would you be happy here, with me. I go to the office each day and you remain at home, the wife of a Boston steel "tycoon". He laughed at his exaggeration. ''That was what you would have had with Hockley, isn't it?'' There was a cold reminder of the fact that he was now almost making her do the same thing which she had regretted agreeing to with Hockley to begin with.

Rose pressed a finger to his forehead to smooth out the lines there. "I shall be happy with you."

Jack would have called her a liar if he wasn't a witness to the pure sincerity and softness upon her face. She really was a fool for him. The adoration for her, in return, had grown a great deal. Since arriving in Boston from the cramped quarters of the Californian to a deadly quiet dock where no one was any wiser of the true tragedy of Titanic, they had spent every waking hour with the other whilst he recovered from the latter end of his injuries. The Carpathia, however, had received a mass amount of press attention and once the survivors had arrived and the rumours began, that was when the heat had begun in Boston. Now, though, he felt as though he was on display in some kind of glass jar; unable to escape, but determined enough to go, somehow.

"Do you recall when we were on board the ship, I told you that we would travel for a year or so and then perhaps settle somewhere?"

"Yes. I want that. With you. No anchor to anything but each other."

Jack laced his fingers through her hair, threading it through and tenderly stroking at the wispy escaping curls.

''That is what I intend for us, still.'' He smiled at her curious eyes. "I expect to hear back from the senator by the end of the week, maybe early next. I sent the letter in this morning's mail."

"What did you tell him?" Rose softened, aware of the circus surrounding him now.

"The truth. I can offer no more. I am not an integral part of the steamer. I know nothing of maritime problems, but this company provided the steel for the damned ship. I believe there to be no fault, if there was then I wouldn't have been sat beside hundreds of letters just this morning."