Fanaa

1.11 A good son

Udaipur
Birla House

Abhimanyu was broken. Broken into a thousands shards. There were no words to describe the pain and guilt that engulfed him. He had failed. He had failed to do right by his little brother, he failed to do right by his Akshu - she wasn't his anymore was she? And that was his own doing.
He had been the architect of his own destruction.

"Abhi? Beta, please" His mom tried to console him.

"I was six. When Sir first raised his voice at you, and I remember feeling so mad, so angry. I had wanted to protect you, wanted to keep my mother safe. And that's all I have been doing my whole life, using my anger as a shield."

"And when Akshu came into my life, she was like this gentle wind, that managed to douse my anger, calm me down. She trusted me, left her whole world behind to live with me - And what did I do? I let my anger destroy her. You were grieving, and all I could see was your pain, and I was that 6 year old boy again, and I threw divorce papers at her, I th-threw divorce papers at my Akshu who was pregnant. She was alone!! She could have died!! I keep saying that I love her but what love is this? How could I have been so cruel?" He was trembling, shaking, choking for breath.

"Abhi please aisa nahi hai, you lost your brother, your kids...."

"It was her child too !! Her child who was inside her!! How was my pain bigger than hers !! He was her brother too." Neil who had loved his Bhabhi, Akshara who had doted on him like he was their child - and he was - he had been their first child.

"I knew how Akshu was, how selfless she was, how she burned herself, if it meant keeping others warm, and I kept trying to change her. I knew how much she had lost, how long it had taken for her to get out of Sirat Maa's grief and I threw that in her face. At her lowest, when she needed me, and I wasn't there, I des-destroyed the girl I promised to cherish my whole life. She begged and pleaded with me - she tried to tell me about Aaira even after everything !!
I don't deserve them, I don't deserve them." He was sobbing now, heart wrenching sobs, he wanted to claw out his chest, the pain - it was too much - he didn't want to live like this anymore.

"Why didn't you stop me?" He cried out "Why didn't anyone stop me. She was a part of this family too, she needed us, she had the right to grieve too."

Abhimanyu turned to look at his mother, it was like he was seeing their relationship in a new light, he had always kept her first, always wanting to protect her, wanting her happiness. He hadn't realised when their relationship had become so co-dependent, that it had started affecting his judgement, his other relationships.
She had been a victim.But so was he - He had lost his childhood, and he had tried so hard to not be his father- but was he any better now ?

"Akshu loved you, she considered you her mother, and she has never asked me to choose between the two of you, but the truth is - I have always kept you above her, your pain, your grief. All my relationships have been defined by you, the way you have been treated by them. And in trying to be a good son to you, I lost everything."

A/N : so this chapter was all abt Abhi's breakdown.
Abhimanyu as a character has a lot of unresolved trauma from his childhood, and his mother being the main one. So i hope was able to justify that.
He does love Akshu, no denying that, but both these characters have a lot of healing to do, and I think part of the reason their relationship kept failing was because of their unresolved childhoods.

Also I have been thinking how to go ahead with this story - and would u guys like to read an illness track ? Or wedding track ?
The show is botching up the illness track and it's pissing me off - is it just me ?

So what do u think of the chapter ?
Do comment <3
Thank you for all the votes.