The princes as my mates.

Strength in weakness

"Don't you see little girl, it's all over, you can't protect yourself let alone the world. Give up." I can't open my eyes but the voice echos around my head, I know it's an angel I just don't know which one. "You will lose everything your mate's and family, not that they actually care about you." Images of my mates flash in front of me, their bodies drained of all blood, their eyes open in horror, their faces contorted into pain. I lock all emotions up, I will not give the angels the satisfaction of seeing me break.  The King and Queen walk out to see the empty bodies of their sons, they are followed by Hunter and Ally.

  "If only that hadn't' met that awful girl this wouldn't of happened." The King's voice is filled with hate, the Queen simply nods her head in agreement.

 "If I had known she was going to be such an issue I would of let her kill herself," Hunter's voice is filled with disgust and Ally just smirks. I don't even wince I just stare at the scene and smile. Suddenly it changes, the colors swirl together and the scene is now a hospital room. A human doctor is standing their looking at me,

 "You would of been a shit mother anyway, you can't even take care of yourself let alone a child, how many times did you try to kill yourself little girl? Six? Seven? You couldn't even die right. You are a failure. You let them kill your baby, you let them rape you, you are a whore. You let them kill that innocent life, you wanted it to die, you didn't fight back, you worthless little slut. How many meals did you skip to be skinny you fat cow? How many cuts faded into scars? You don't even have the strength to tell your mates how fucked up you are, you know they would leave you little girl." The doctor gasps and falls forward, the devil is standing there smirking, power radiates off of him, I know it's him and not a dream as the doctor changes into an beautiful angels and goes up in flames. Lucifer steps over the ashes and picks me up, the colors once again swirl together as I'm transported to hell. I allow a few tears to fall as the angels speech rings in my head, it was my fault I was raped, I should of stayed in my room, It was my fault the baby died, I shouldn't of left the house that night, I should've fought harder. The devil tightens his hold on me and speaks, his voice echoes around the open room.

  "Hush sweet child, you know none of what they said is true. Life dealt you a cruel deck of cards but you are stronger because of it. Those mutts, I mean that family loves you very much. You will be rewarded when this is over, I am sorry that anyone has to do this but since the war in heaven the angels have been vicious and envious of father's other children. And unfortunately you creatures have to pay the price of my family fued. They are spoiled and pompous assholes who never aged past four hundred. They are children and they are taking it out on the world. And with father missing in action there is no one but you to stop them. But be assured I will be helping you every step of the way, it is time this ends. I will protect you child, the war is soon and you need to be prepared." His face is calm and his eyes sympathetic, I relax as he carries me like a father would carry a child. My eyes close as the rocking movement lulls me to sleep while the devil once again watches over me.

 I wake up feeling relaxed and refreshed, I'm sandwiched in between the boys who are radiating heat, I snuggle deeper into the bed as they tighten their grip on me, this action shows their true fear, losing me. I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling, there are many ways they could lose me. I could die in battle like the ones before me, the angels could send someone before the battle and I could be murdered there, it has happened before and it is the kind of dirty thing they would do. I could survive the battle only to be killed by a rebel to the crown or a jealous female who wants to be queen. I could die in childbirth or on a random carriage ride into town. Or the darkness could take over, the demon blood that runs in my blood could kill my other blood cells and I could become a full demon with no thoughts beside death and destruction, the mating bond would disappear and so would I. I would be alive but I wouldn't be me. I would be something different, I wouldn't know who they are and most likely I would try to kill them. I shudder at the thought and Jake nudges me to get me to look at him.  "It will be ok babygirl, everything will be ok." Tears gather in my eyes as all the stress becomes too much, Jake gathers me in his arms and I feel Josh scooch closer and wrap me in his arms as well. I sob uncontrollably at the thought of losing them, losing myself and everyone suffering because I wasn't strong enough. I  was never strong, I couldn't fight the depression or the anorexia, I couldn't fight off my numerous foster parents, I couldn't fight off my rapist or my attacker two months later that killed my baby. I was never strong enough to kill myself or cut very deep. I was never strong and now I am expected to lead an army into battle against a group of heavenly beings who have their golden panties in a twist because they aren't daddy's favorite. I grip Jake's shirt in my fist and let out a demonic howl of pain that shakes the window. Josh gets out of bed and disappears, I climb onto of Jake trying to draw the comfort I need from my mate. I don't want to fight a war, I don't want anyone to die. By now all of the species have agreed to fight with us, the land surrounding the castle is filled with camps of fey and vampires and wolves and sirens and various others who couldn't fit in the castle or didn't want to. Jake picks me up and carries me to another room, I can't focus enough to see where we are going. I am now silently crying, I am handed off to Josh as Jake strips and I see him climb into the tub, I am handed off and my clothes are taken off, I just lay there limp, Josh strips and climbs into the tub with me. The warm water surrounds me comforting me as my mates wash me and coo soothing words. I'm still trapped in my head unable to move but I know they are there and I am able to shoo off the depressing thoughts swimming in my head and focus on the two men who love me more than life and would do anything possible to make me happy.

I won't be able to write for the entire month of June, I will be traveling without internet access. I'm sorry. I know it's been forever. I had finals and graduation and now I'm dealing with my parents and my depression is getting worse. But I'm trying I really am. Comment please. It makes me smile when I see your comments.