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by BendySFMKin05

by BendySFMKin05

It's so cold. Everyday it's always cold. When will it finally be warm for once? The children are playing in the snow, every one of them are giggling and running around.
I am not too fond of children's laughter. Maybe it's because i myself do not laugh. Who knows?
My family? Where are they? My body hurts a lot. I could feel the blood seep out of my thigh. The laughter gets quieter and so do my inner thoughts.
I think it's time for me to sleep
————

I woke up, sweaty and in pain. Sometimes i wonder why dad always does this to me. Why can't he do it to Fink? I got up and went to the restroom. I don't know why i must live like this, I wish i was just as happy as Fink or K.O. Actually- i don't want to end up bratty as Fink so let's scratch her out.
K.O has been the only person who is nice and supportive of me. I wish there was more people like him. I rolled up my sleeves and rubbed some alcohol on them; i let out a small hiss since there were still some wounds that haven't fully healed yet.
I wish K.O was here, i have this feeling that i want to cuddle him-
"He doesn't want you"
That's right- he might've talked to me because of pity. Who would really want to be friends with the teenager who has an abusive and toxic family?
I sat down on the toilet seat. What am i even doing anymore? why can't i succeed for once? I grabbed a blade and held it against my arm, I thought to myself, "Please let this be my final night"
———
I woke up feeling super sluggish. Maybe i'm losing a little too much blood- maybe i should take a break from self harm. I need to find other ways to cope-
Today is Saturday, a break from a place called hell. I don't know what to do during the weekends, the weekends aren't that fun. Sometimes i get bullied by Fink, sometimes my dad hurts me for the fun of it, sometimes i sleep the entire weekend. Now that i think about it, K.O. and his friends might be out, or that Aki girl, maybe i should spend some time with them?
I got up from bed and cleaned my wounds. They stung a little but oh well, i deserved this. After that, I put on a purple hoodie with some sweats; I look very- NPC like? Oh well, i hoped out the window (don't worry, my window wasn't far from the ground, however i wish my window was higher-)
I wandered around. Everything seemed nice today. There were people walking their dogs, walking their children, their fish, and such. I wish i was as happy as the other people out there.

I saw Aki sitting on a bench. I don't really like her since she kinda reminds me of those preppy girls, plus she's three years older than me- I walked up to her direction, she looks up and called me with her preppy voice.
"Hey, T.K.O.!"
"Hello?" I mumbled
"Come sit with me!" she pats a spot next to her. I hesitated for a bit since i've never sat next to a girl that wasn't Fink- and someone who's older- I sat next to her, fidgeting a bit.
"How was your first day?" End me
"It sucked, i hate school a lot."
"Aw, i'm sure it'll get better throughout the year!" It never will-
"Ah- yeah? i guess." I hate preppy girls. "Do you like school?"
"Umm, i wouldn't say i like it 100%. School can get really stressing at times, but meeting up with my friends always makes my day!" Friends-
"That's nice, i uh- need to leave already, i have to go to the store."
"Okay! Take care!" Aki pats my head and leaves. Did she just- Whatever, that doesn't matter; what matters is that she's gone.
I got up and headed straight to the woods. The woods is like my happy place, yes I know how emo/edgy this sounds but bear with me. I come here whenever my dad or Fink finishes abusing me, or when i'm almost bleeding to death. I don't know why this place is so reliving, it just is.

I sat by a tree for hours, I don't care if i come home late, it's not like anyone is going to care when i'm gone. I really do hope that i can stay here forever-
"Hey, T.K.O." Oh great
"What is it-" I was then proceeded to be kicked in the guts, i let out a scream, "WHAT WAS THAT FOR-"
"Quiet, you do know that this is our spot right?"
"NO-" I was then kicked again
"Leave now or else i'll force you to leave"
I got up quickly and waddled away, I genuinely did not want to deal with this gang dude right now- anyways, i headed to the park, there should be nice people there.

My heart dropped when i saw him. He made me forget that i kinda got jumped by a gang kid.
"Hey T.K.O.!"
"..Hello K.O."

———
aye finally wrote something. i'm sorry if this is bad 🙏